I’ve experienced some violence in my life, and I consider the fact that I need to be ready to protect myself to be axiomatic too. I honestly can’t remember why I didn’t think that way before, but I know that ever since being terrified as someone tried to kill me, nothing is okay unless I’m safe. The fact that I need to maintain the capacity for violence and the capacity to win that violence is just built into me now. Like needing to breathe.