Eat fries first, main dish later, always. Good reason though: usually the main dish holds heat much longer than fries do, and it probably won’t get as gross as fries do.

Cold fries are tasteless and soggy. A warm burger is still good.

I eat bell peppers like apples. Just wash it and eat it, no cutting required.

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When I’m alone I’ll wear a full suit, because dressing up makes me feel nice, but I lack the courage to go full “retro men’s fashion enthusiast” and dress up like it’s 1939

When I type on the keyboard I often always type F at the end and immediately backspace. I don’t understand why I do it and I can’t stop doing it.

All 3 of the stuffed animals that don’t leave my bed all have their own distinct voice and personalities. I sometimes have conversations with them (just not out loud).

Gavin, my stuffed turtle pillow has the personality of a chill middle aged man who’s proud of his son since he’s been with me since I was maybe 4-5 and has dealt with a lot of my bullshit. He loves when I rub his shell.

Jake, my polar bear I got from a hospital when I was maybe 12, is a pretty happy and optimistic man with a voice that is a little high pitched and scratchy. He loves wearing his little bandana I fashion around him like a neckerchief and his little when it’s spring or summer.

Laura, my stuffed brown rabbit I got maybe a year and a half ago, is a female with a voice like Tsumugi from Danganronpa V3. She’s Jake’s slightly older sister. I like to cuddle her because she’s the softest of all 3 and because she’s the easiest to cuddle with. She’s my little dress up bunny, despite the fact she only has one outfit. It took some time, but she eventually got used to her outfit.

Edit:

Nobody probably thought this, but I totally looked this over and my autistic brain totally thought the part about Gavin made it sound like my actual dad isn’t proud of me, which is false.

Also, I don’t know anyone else in their mid-20s who does this.

Uhm, I really like laying on the floor with the largest bag of cat food/litter/dried corn/rice that I have available on my head.

When I feel very bored, I go to the Wikipedia page of a movie that I do not intend to watch anytime soon and just read the entire plot write-up, as well as the “Critical Response” subsection.

I don’t mow my lawn.

Fully invested in the no lawn movement, I’ve been slowly replacing my grass with “no-mow” fine fescue grasses that fall over when they grow long instead of standing up straight. They grow slowly and are meant to not be mowed most of the summer season, just a couple times in the spring and cut down low in the fall.

Between that and using shredded leaves as mulch in my flower beds or lasagna mulching to create a new flower bed, my neighbors definitely think I’m a bit off.

I meticulously eat all the whites off my fried eggs then shove the intact yolk into my mouth. Mostly because I hate yolking the other food on the plate and fried eggs are best hot. I have converted my husband. Everyone else seems to think it’s weird.

I have little dance moves that I like to use when walking around the office. Little turn on heel here, stand on tiptoe there, round the corner in a fluid motion, balance on one leg, little jump, etc.
It’s not that obvious if you look at me at first glance and I make sure to keep the really visible moves for when I’m alone. But it’s something I’m doing (un)consciously most of the time. I guess I just like being light-footed :)

I eat cereal dry with my milk in a glass.

I wander around at weird hours with food and drinks on me, offering them to homeless people. A lot of them are initially (understandably) suspicious because they might think I’m trying to grift them into attending some church or exploiting them in some startup scheme, but with some patience and established trust they often get used to you when you come around the next time.

There’s lifetimes lived out there and people that will share their stories with you if you brought some pizza.

You might be too right.

My wife lives in another county and is only around on the weekends.

She is a huge turtle nut and has several stuffed turtle toys on the bed. I’m in finance journalism and sometimes talk to the turtles about convertible bond transactions and other boring stuff.

It helps me work through things. Probably headed for an institution in the future.

I process insect vomit for a day job