Swedish Chef as Tom Bombadil is perfect!

The Lord of the Rings, but Gandalf is the only human actor and everyone else are Muppets.

• Tells people to stop hiring humans
• Markets AI to look like a human

Americans: “Wait, you can do that?!”

Yes, you’re correct. My mistake. Here’s another pizza with cheese on top instead of glue. (It’s still glue)

Saved you a click:

The Ukrainian Defense Forces destroyed 18 Russian vessels that were providing logistical support to occupied Crimea.

According to information from the General Staff, the vessels struck included 13 tankers, three dry cargo ships, one ferry, and one support vessel.

According to the Ukrainian military, these vessels are used to support the Russian Federation’s military logistics, transporting fuel and lubricants, military cargo, and other resources necessary for conducting armed aggression against Ukraine.

Using drones, according to the article.

if it’s voluntary, I guarantee nobody will be using them.

I just utilize gluttony to empty the bag, preemptively removing any need to close it in the future.

emotional support truck

I’m going to start calling them this now. It’s perfect. Thank you. I usually call them Compensators or “Ferd F-Teen Thousands”

this might arise to the level of cruel and unusual

They’ll just say it’s not unusual because everybody is being forced to not be trans. If everybody is subject to the cruelty then it’s not unusual, as shown by all the other horrendous things the US prison system has done to people. The courts have decided that a punishment must be BOTH cruel AND unusual otherwise it’s perfectly fine to torture people with.

A US takeover of Greenland is currently the only way to address the long-term security risks surrounding the ice-covered island belonging to the Kingdom of Denmark, a senior US official said on Sunday.

Why would you be concerned about Denmark (and Europe) being able to attack the USA if there’s no war with them? Unless…

I heard the new James Bond game locks single player abilities and unlocks behind an always-online connection. You can play without it, but you can’t level up or unlock any new skills or abilities.

And even though you don’t need to get the battle pass, it has items that are meta-defining and you can’t viably play in online multiplayer without them without getting crushed.

Pre-orders used to be to make sure you have a copy available to purchase on release day. Now there’s no point in that since there’s effectively an infinite stock since it’s a digital product. Now it’s just to get a sub-par DLC outfit that doesn’t look good with anything.

TLDR:

Debating Christianity in class will likely create more non-believers

As many an ex-evangelical can tell you, direct exposure to what the Bible actually says is often the first step to walking away from Christian fundamentalism altogether.

Can’t believe I had to open a clickbait link just to skim through an article.

Actually, with that in mind, if a shark is concerned about global warming then we must really be in big trouble.

Get one of those microchips implanted and you can!

Just in general I’ve noticed an uptick in posts that link to a news article of sorts without having anything else included in the post. Just a clickbait title and a link, likely to draw traffic to their website. I’m getting really sick of finding an interesting post just to be met with a “Subscribe to view article” message instead.

TLDR:

… with the newly-released SteamOS 3.8, you can run the same code and operating system as Steam Machine on your own living-room PC using whatever PC parts you want […] Right now, only AMD GPUs are supported, but we’re working on expanding support for the future.

I’m getting sick of clock-bait titles that only link to an article without any other description in the post. I’m convinced bots are mass-posting this stuff on Lemmy now to drive traffic onto the websites they link to.

“The sentences handed down today make clear that Antifa terrorists who attack law enforcement and federal facilities will face swift and uncompromising justice,” Todd Blanche, the acting attorney general, said in a statement. “Their violent extremism has no place in our country, and the Department of Justice will continue to aggressively investigate, disrupt, and prosecute those who threaten law enforcement officers or undermine the rule of law.”

Didn’t the Trump Administration, who are actively praising the unusually harsh sentences, just pardon a bunch of people who were guilty of violent extremism and attacking law enforcement officers?