Words

Reddit died 10 years ago; it’s just taken this long for it’s death throws to piddle out…

Can you tell me an easy way to get Winamp up and running on a modern computer? Man, I miss Winamp…that shit really whipped the llamas ass.

I’m only as old as I feel and me and my wrinkled-ass dick feel pretty old

My penis is pretty old at this point…

What skin do you use, tho?

I’m definitely younger than you because emacs sucks

A private island

And only a trusted few would be allowed on it.

1. WaLL-E
2. Big Hero 6
3. Terminator 2

Paperhanded bitches

The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkein because there’s no fucking way in hell I will ever finish that shit

A couch is where you screw. A sofa is where you make love.

Ergo, a sofa is sexier than a couch.

But only if the flux capacitor gets up to 1.21 gigawatts

A car on fire on an entrance ramp. Thought it was a wildfire at first until I got closer and was weirdly relieved when I saw what it was.

I know! It’s that deadpan delivery that really sells the style.

Did you ever watch Quentin Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs? Steven Wright does the voice over narration for K-Billy’s Super Sounds of the 70’s!

“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”

-Mitch Hedberg

What do you call ten thousand lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?

A good start.

Okay, now that’s good.

I see. Said the blind carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw.

Oh, man, I love The Aristocrats joke. Used to have a DVD of that one with a lot of comedians telling their own versions of The Aristocrats joke.