Geez you poor thing, you must be suffering

Oh, I am choking on the envy right now!

I’m sure you are suffering greatly. Take some medication for the pain.

I’m so sorry.

Ooh nice!

I wonder how many people have pissed in that water?

Looks absolutely awful. Next time you go somewhere this terrible let me know in advance as I’m calling dibs on the spot in your suitcase.

Joke’s on you. It’s grey and cloudy here.

Way better than what you have!