In my religious background, there is huge emphasis on fearing God, fearing His wrath, and hell. Hell is very graphical. Here are some verses showing how graphical it is:
“And if ye do it not - and ye can never do it - then guard yourselves against the Fire prepared for disbelievers, whose fuel is of men and stones.” (Q 2:24) “Lo! Those who disbelieve Our revelations, We shall expose them to the Fire. As often as their skins are consumed We shall exchange them for fresh skins that they may taste the torment. Lo! Allah is ever Mighty, Wise.” (Q 4:56) “For such, their habitation will be hell, and they will find no refuge therefrom” (Q 4:121) “Lo! the hypocrites (will be) in the lowest deep of the Fire, and thou wilt find no helper for them;” (Q 4:145) “Lo! those who disbelieve and deal in wrong, Allah will never forgive them, neither will He guide them unto a road, Except the road of hell, wherein they will abide for ever. And that is ever easy for Allah.” (Q 4:168-169) “They will wish to come forth from the Fire, but they will not come forth from it. Theirs will be a lasting doom.” (Q 5:37) “Theirs will be a bed of hell, and over them coverings (of hell). Thus do We requite wrong-doers.” (Q 7:41) “O ye who believe! Lo! many of the (Jewish) rabbis and the (Christian) monks devour the wealth of mankind wantonly and debar (men) from the way of Allah. They who hoard up gold and silver and spend it not in the way of Allah, unto them give tidings (O Muhammad) of a painful doom, On the day when it will (all) be heated in the fire of hell, and their foreheads and their flanks and their backs will be branded therewith (and it will be said unto them): Here is that which ye hoarded for yourselves. Now taste of what ye used to hoard.” (Q 9:35) “Know they not that whoso opposeth Allah and His messenger, his verily is fire of hell, to abide therein ? That is the extreme abasement.” (Q 9:63) “Hell is before him, and he is made to drink a festering water, Which he sippeth but can hardly swallow, and death cometh unto him from every side while yet he cannot die, and before him is a harsh doom.” (Q 14:16-17)
Even though I have left this religion but I get this nightmare that I am getting punishment for leaving the religion. I feel scared that what if I am wrong and end up burning in hellfire.
How to get rid of this fear so that I can live my life freely?
How did you get rid of your fear of the Greek Tartarus or the Norse Hel or etc… Same way.
Just be excellent to one another. No matter whether or not Marcus Aurelius actually said this, this quote helped me a lot when I was younger, emphasis on the first two lines:
“Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.”
A hard thing for me to do as I got so much negative experiences from people that I actually want to transition into the most bad person I ever can.
Living life is the longest thing you’ll ever do, but it’s still incredibly short. Why not give it your best shot instead of your worst? It is unfortunate that people hurt you. We live in a time when bad behavior is often encouraged and rewarded, but that doesn’t make it right.
Think of your pain. Do you really want to spread it to others?
It is terribly unfair. But can you try to find a way to turn that pain into love?
Full disclosure, I’m being hypocritical here. I am ex-christian. I share my experiences with others in hopes that I can prevent what happened to me from happening to someone else. But I often lose my patience and resort to name-calling. It’s not who I want to be. It’s often not effective, either. Keep looking for another way.
As for hell, I don’t fear it anymore. It was only ever in my head. I hope you can find freedom from the lies you were told.
Love feels like a lie to me. But yeah, I am on my way
We were taught hate and told it was love. We were betrayed by the people who were supposed to care for us.
I have to consciously remind myself that my parents were wrong to hurt me. You and I deserve better than what we have been given. Children do not choose to be abused.
How do you personally define love?
My favorite way to think of it currently is as a force, like gravity. It draws people together, even if the result is not good for them. We evolved empathy and compassion for good reason, they help us survive. But they can also be taken advantage of. So it naturally feels scary to make ourselves vulnerable in sharing honest love, and it is worth remembering that we should not give away more than we are willing to lose.
I wish I knew how to help you. I am glad to see so many supportive comments here. Your pain is as unique as you are, but you are not alone.
I never got love so I don’t know exactly what is love
Despite my abuse, I was lucky to have very good friends at school. They supported me in ways my parents never did. They helped me be a better person, and to enjoy life even though I was being mistreated at home. We played together, we made things; stick figure comics, lego sets, stories and games. They helped me feel like I mattered, like I deserved happiness.
Our family moved away. I tried to make new friends, but it wasn’t the same. When my life fell apart, no one supported me. I am saddened that the relationships I thought we were building together for our whole lives turned out to mean much less to them. I am worth more than that, but it’s easier to say than to feel. When enough people consistently treat me like I am worthless, it is difficult not to internalize that idea.
I have been lucky again to find people online. I hesitate to call them “friends” because I’m scared of getting hurt again. I’m scared of getting too close to anyone. But we talk, we play games, we share music, we listen to each other’s problems, we support each other. They tell me that I matter, and I try to believe them. They matter, too. They have already made a positive difference in my life.
I think you are on a journey of discovering who you can be. It is difficult to let go of who we were. How do we make something new out of nothing? I’m still trying to find out myself.
I did not invent the idea of turning pain into love. Kimya Dawson probably didn’t, either, but I heard it in her song “Fire” and it stuck with me.
Telling the truth the best way that I’m able,
Placing my cards all face up on the table.
It’s okay to be scared, you do don’t have to act tough.
Take all that pain and turn it into love.
Take all that pain and turn it into love.
And let your emotions be fuel to your flame.
Being on fire will keep you awake.
If somebody yells out, “hey! Stop, drop, and roll!”
Say "that might save my skin, but it won’t save my soul.
That might save my skin, but it won’t save my soul"
Sorry if it’s not your thing, or if I rambled too much. I don’t know how to help you, but I can share what has helped me.
Look man, I’ve already been dead once and have nothing to report so maybe that helps.
Hell isn’t real, neither is heaven. I died for a little bit and came back, if they hadn’t told me my heart stopped, I never would have known.
Me too, and same. No heaven, no hell, nothing.
And I went down the rabbit hole of NDE research for a while – it’s really interesting that for people who have NDE visions, they always match the person’s religion/culture. Like, non-Abrahamic believers who report NDEs don’t tend to have the classic Western heaven/hell experience. If it was real, wouldn’t everyone have the same experiences, rather than whatever matches their religious or cultural expectations? It’s not real.
If you truly believe that hell exists and you fear punishment in the afterlife, then you are still fundamentally religious at heart.
I don’t choose not to believe in hell, nor do I choose not to believe in the words of the Bible, Torah, Quran, or other dogma from other religions. I simply never believed them in the first place. I don’t fear being wrong and being punished in the afterlife, because I don’t believe in heaven, hell, gods or devils. (And even if I did believe in a god, I would never believe in one that is so petty that they would smite me for having doubts or other beliefs.)
In my view, fear is used by religious authorities to control people, so that they will submit without question to arbitrary rules and limitations that they would not otherwise follow. Fear and reward are great motivators.
I don’t think you can truly be free until you have broken free from the shackles of fear that were designed to keep you in line with the teachings of your former religion. You are still being controlled by that fear today because you still aren’t sure whether you believe or not.
I have doubts, not firm belief in the hell.
