The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Justabups on 2025-03-06 16:03:58.

I (51F) have been friends with Mary (53F) since primary school. I couldn’t imagine not having her in my life. I love her like a sister.

About 6 years ago Mary started talking about a guy she was seeing Kent (55m). She was very excited and I was happy for her because she’d never been in a true serious relationship. Mary and I don’t live in the same city it’s about a 7-hour drive to be able to see each other. Of course we visit each other multiple times each year. I suggested many times that I make plans to visit her and bring along my husband and we can all go on a double date.

Mary always makes excuses as to why Kent can’t go. She doesn’t have pictures of them together.It got to the point where I had a serious conversation for with her and asked her if Kent was real. She broke down and cried to me that he is indeed real but they can’t go out in public because Kent has been married for almost 20 years. She claims that Kent and his wife don’t get along and they are staying together for their three teenage daughters and they will split when the girls are done with school.

She asked me if I thought she was a bad person and what I thought about her situation. I asked her if she heard herself. Did she realize that she’s been “dating” a man that she can’t actually date while he is sleeping with at least two women. I told her I feel so sad because she’s wasted a good part of her life with a man she’s never going to have. I love her and I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. I truly thought that there was nothing that we couldn’t say to each other.

She told me that I was disgusting and hurtful and that I know nothing. She now refuses to even speak to me so am I the AITA for telling her the truth?