It’s a riddle. It was made of ice.
Imagine the frostbite
You mean a freezejob, aka rimfreeze
Their assets were first frozen then liquidated.
I like how he clarifies that he lives alone.
“Sure, one of my roommates could have come in and poked around in my butthole while I was sleeping. But no one was in a position to do such a thing.”
Occam’s razor and all that
Occam’s buttplug
It’s always in there
Hey I had a roommate that would steal my inserted butt plugs while I was sleeping.
And then what?
Subscribe to my only fans to find out more.
Anon needs to go to a hospital soon
but sadly, Anon is American
The worst condition of them all.
No shit.
Literally.
for OOP, yes
Object Oriented Programmers never poop? Interesting.
exactly. neither do Online Only People. interestingly, Poop&Online Only People (POOP), even though they are very similar to OOP, do, in fact, poop.
Better get an MRI to look for it
Yeah sounds like fucknon here sucked it up his lil hole
Buttplug fairy takes the buttplug and leaves you with a shart.
Know your local mythology.
Shart Fariy 🧚💩
The more timid subspecies of the feared diarrhea-jet-superpropulsion fairy.
Some say a mere glance of this fairy can have you leave orbit!
Can we ask that Diarrhea Jet Fairy to visit certain ones?
Weaponisation of fecal fairies can lead to aftermaths of unprecedented destruction on all sides leaving the whole plane of existence a shitty mess.
But, in the interest of exactness, yes, you can def do that, just ask directly. Usually the convo would go something like “Hey, can you pay a special visit to that guy?” - “Why?” - “Why not?” - “Good point, I’m on it!”
Well probably someone already asked one. I mean * gestures broadly at the world *
There will always be shitty humans asking shitty fairies to additionally enshittify the already pretty shitty world just to shit on someones day a bit more.
Humans have been great at fighting shit with additional shit, and then wonder tirelessly where all the shit came from.
And it’s the shit-fairies!!!
I dunno how exhausted or drunk you’d have to be to pass out with one of those things inserted. Seems like it’d feel like a turd half out and your body would prefer you deal with that and not fall asleep.
Spoken like somebody who’s never used a butt plug
Yeah, that’s why I said “seems like” and not “when I do it (this) happens”.
You do you.
You should also do you… with a butt plug.
Lol, I appreciate the sentiment.
Nah good ones are pretty comfy and after a while if you don’t cause it to shift you forget it’s there
Why are you even wearing one atp if you forget it’s there 🤣
Because being suddenly reminded that it’s there is the point.
It’s the unexpected sensations that are the most powerful.
Because when you do shift around slightly…
Mmmm, that’s some fresh greentext too!
Yeah it doesn’t have the remnants of being compressed to .jpg over 1000 times over. Just doesn’t have the same feeling with it though.
Oh wow. I’ve never seen one this fresh!
So fresh it’s still green
Did it have a flared end?
If yes:
It’s in the toilet, he sleep walked and took a shit and doesn’t remember.
or
He pooped it out while sleeping and his dog ate it.
If no:
Butt plug goblins.
They can be warded away with a metamucil potion.
Way worse than your dog eating your homework
Must have been the wind
Maybe a bird… Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it away together?
i rate this greentext fake on scale of 1 to gay
Perhaps Anon inserted it in a dream?
Anon will need a plumber because he got up in a daze to use the bathroom.
Have you checked for any holes in your wall? Maybe you coughed or sneezed while sleeping.
Or if there are multiple holes in the walls shine a laser though the holes to get the butt plug trajectory.
If there are multiple holes in the wall, find the one that was made for your buttplug.
A wizard did it.
but anon’s a wizard himself
Anon is a Butt Wizard I think is what you meant
I’m having the perfect T-shirt for him
Btw: I couldn’t upload the picture to Lemmy directly, as it’s probably too large for my instance limits. But I’m not sure which image sharing platform is still ok to use (after imgur) and I’m even more stuck in how to embed the linked image correctly in a comment, besides just linking to it.
What’s the correct way to do this?Trying to embed the image:
catbox.moe might be an option.
You might be better off learning to use an app or editing to crop and then swap old image formats to webp in order to get them much smaller. In Linux it usually happens automatically by just renaming the file from something like .jpg to .webp.
I would have grabbed the image to post it as an example but the postimg host is a mess of a website I don’t let through my firewall (IIRC from the last time I tried). I don’t think they allow direct embedding either, thus the reason their website is such a convoluted mess of junk happening in the background.
You could sign up on a Pixelfed instance, or self host if interested as that is part of the fediverse.
The image embedding syntax on Lemmy is
changing the file extension shouldn’t do anything, especially on linux, maybe if you’re using a distro designed to do that. It will just pretend to be a different format, and if it works its pure chance, because file extensions don’t really do anything. I’ve had a lot of jpgs that weren’t actually jpegs and were actually pngs but they were listed as jpg for some reason, shit is just silly.
