If we MUST eat a entire bag of Oreos.

Which scenario is better?

  • Eat the entire bag in 30 minutes
  • Eat the bag slowly, and evenly throughout a day?

  • Hemingways_Shotgun
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    31 month ago

    I’ve solved that problem by buying two bags. One to eat all at once. And one to spread out over the rest of the day.

  • @[email protected]
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    11 month ago

    A dentist once answered this question. Better to eat it at once than soak your teeth in sugar for the entire day. Even better if you brush your teeth after, of course.

    • TomAwsm
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      21 month ago

      Better for your teeth, sure. Nutritionally, I’m pretty sure it’s better to spread it out.

      • Dark Arc
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        1 month ago

        Nutritionally, it’s terrible either way.

        I think your body would have a better time with it spread out over the course of the entire day. However you’re still absorbing an insane amount of sugar in a single day.

        There’s a chance all at once would result in more of it being pooped out and thus be better … but it’s so close to just eating sugar I expect you’d absorb it and then your body would go into overdrive producing insulin.

        Fine every now and then, but regularly it would be insanely bad no matter which way you do it.

  • @[email protected]
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    11 month ago

    Put them in the other room so that you save some for later, and then keep going back at intervals for just one more, until suddenly there are none left.

  • @[email protected]
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    11 month ago

    More enjoyment if you spread it out over the whole day, plus you won’t barf. You might shit liquid, but y’know, lesser evil I’d say.

  • southsamurai
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    11 month ago

    Ehhh, I’d say that, on average and for most purposes, spread out is better.

    Less of a hit to your system. No big blood sugar spikes, which reduces the worst aspects if swallowing an entire package to the minimum it gets.

    That being said, expect digestive issues to linger. You’ve got a lot of fats, the coloring, and the sugars playing havoc with your guts.

    Expect to need a lot of tooth brushing unless you just enjoy having plaque and acid build-up messing with your teeth.

    But I’d say that the risks of big spikes in blood sugar are higher than those risks. It could, in the right circumstances, kill you. And the way some of the more recent information regarding the role of sugar in atherosclerosis, and maybe other cardiovascular illness, is looking, every big spike is whittling time off of your heart more than a bunch of little ones will.

    • @[email protected]
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      01 month ago

      One of the first things I did when I first moved out from my parents is eat a whole bag of Oreos for breakfast because I could.

      It turns your poop black.

  • Caveman
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    11 month ago

    Eating sugary stuff that sticks in your teeth continuously throughout the day is the worst possible you can do for the teeth.

    Binge eating sweets is pretty bad for blood sugar.

    So to balance it out eat a third after every meal for max health and enjoyment.

  • @[email protected]
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    11 month ago

    Technically the entire bag all at once will raise blood sugar higher, causing a bigger spike. The liver can’t deal with that much, so it converts the excess to fat faster than if it is spread out. The bigger problem is making it a habit of surprising your metabolism with huge calorie spikes with starvation in-between. One time isn’t bad enough to be concerned with. Weekly, or even daily will wreck your liver (non alcoholic fatty liver disease or NAFLD is just a couple steps away from cirrhosis)

    Also, I’m no doctor nor do I have any background in the medical field. I just have a more progressed version of NAFLD from eating things like Oreos with both hands for forty years.

      • @[email protected]
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        11 month ago

        Zero symptoms. It’s something very common, and usually discovered by coincidence. But I’m down 40 pounds so far. My grandmother died of non-alcoholic cirrhosis. It was horrifying to watch as a teen. Now that I’m in my forties this diagnosis, which is common, seriously scares the hell out of me. So I take it as a good thing that I am using to make lifelong changes. Crossing my fingers. I still want to lose 20-30 pounds. If nothing else I’m saving great money avoiding the convenience food I abused on a daily basis. And I’m getting really into working out and am hoping to get some “gains” in the next couple months.

  • @[email protected]
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    1 month ago

    So the question seems to be answered at this point, but on a related note, does anyone else hate that fucking packaging? It never really seals properly, and accessing the cookies on the outer rows is difficult. If you try to reseal it often and make it last a while they fucking go stale.

    • @[email protected]
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      11 month ago

      Probably be design to force you to eat them quickly or throw them away. Either way you’re buying more sooner. Here in Europe I don’t remember seeing those trays often and mostly the tubes ones, these are better at keeping them fresh.

  • @[email protected]
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    1 month ago

    As a Canadian, unfortunately the answer is now to not eat them at all because they are an American product. This breaks my heart because I am the type of person that would eat an entire bag throughout the day :(

  • @[email protected]
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    -11 month ago

    In a large bowl, combine 750ml of your closest booze and the Oreos. Use a potato masher to create a smooth yet chunky consistency. Best enjoyed naked while binge watching Bojack Horseman.