i’m crying as i write this. unfortunately, my depression is really kicking in. i don’t have an interest in much, which is why i mostly go along with whatever you want. i kept wanting you to appreciate my interests, but what interests do i have at the moment? none.

so i go along with whatever you do. even if you prefer video games to me, i will accept that and i will still love you.

i love you and i just want you to know that.

i love you, whatever happens.

i love you so much and i’m so sorry.

i’m so sorry i’m all depressed and stuff. i know i can’t be the boyfriend you want but i love you anyway. i will try to be better, i promise.

i will live for you. don’t worry, i will live. i wasn’t planning on dying but i am depressed. anything for you.

sorry if this is incoherent.

i hope i didn’t fail as a boyfriend.

  • MotoAsh@piefed.socialEnglish
    3·
    2 months ago

    I know it may take a long time to feel like this is relevant, but please try to understand that living vicariously through someone else is never healthy. It’s not healthy to live for someone else, either.

    Find reasons to stand on your own, even if it’s something “silly” or “dumb” to others. Find something YOU care about, regardless of how anyone else feels. Find a community that can reinforce that interest.

    I know it can sound stupidly cliche, but find a reason for YOU to live first, on your own, before you expect others to stick around through rough patches in a way that you want. Very few people even can offer much beyond a hug in such rough times, so don’t be too put off by people not having a perfect answer to hand to you.

  • TootSweet@lemmy.worldEnglish
    2·
    2 months ago

    If you’re depressed, your brain is lying to you. This in particular is exactly the type of lie a depressed brain tells:

    …i can’t be the boyfriend you want…

    (Even if there is truth to it, understand that your brain is blowing it way out of purportion.)

    What’s important:

    • Take care of yourself to the extent you can. Get as close to enough sleep as you can. Get sunlight. Try not to imbibe in recreational drugs (including booze.) Not that that will cure you necessarily, but it can mitigate the depression a bit and help you have more strength with which to…
    • Seek help. Talk to your GP. They might refer you to a psychiatrist or someone. Whatever results, it’s incredible how much that can help.
    • If you’re already availing yourself of mental health help, talk to your provider about your current mental state. Show them your post.