You know how in movies/tv, there’s this cliche that people would somehow “feel bad” after someone kills themself. Like:
parents somehow crying and be like: “why didn’t you just talked to us, we loved you so much!”
sibling be like: “maybe I should’ve been a better sibling”
or school bullies be like: “oh yea what we did was kinda fucked up, I feel so guilty”
or some bullshit.
I have a feeling that, IRL, nobody would care
like really, who the fuck wrote those cliche “people suddenly appreciate you after your death” tropes? like those directors really wanna make me kms lol?
Movies are movies. They are largely trying to move along a plot and convey the thoughts of the writers for the purpose of the movie and its intentions to make you feel a certain way. They are not a reflection on real life but sometimes they can be an insight to the writers at times.
Usually the best way to find out how people feel is to start a conversation with them. If you want to know certain answers to questions it’s also worth exploring why you want to find out, as that might also be a way to get to what you are seeking without the conversations themselves.
I wouldn’t to get too hung up on what you see or think is a trope, there’s no expectations on you to be a certain way to anyone. You do you, and let others deal with how that makes them feel. I am sure people do care about you and you don’t have to wait until your funeral to find out.
Everything is temporary as well, so trust the power of time as it’s the one thing no one can control. Time heals all, even within you, whether you like it or not, tomorrow is another day and another version of you will look at everything from a different perspective. Hang in there.