There is a lot of solid scholarship questioning the label “male loneliness epidemic,” but not because scholars are stupid enough to equate having sex with an absence of loneliness.
Those statistics seem to be AI hallucination.
Also, if you have one sexual intercourse encounter per year, you’re not lonely? AND you could be pounding every week and still be lonely because the chemistry is not there, the love is vapid. People can just wank or pound for sexual release, but it doesn’t solve loneliness. Hell, people are lonely in a household of 6 people. Why? Because everybody is doing their own thing, ambivalent of each other. Thus, they can be lonely.
The feeling of loneliness is likely the basis for “I missed you.” Forlorning. And it’s noticed during reflection, alone.
We grow up in schools, where we’ve known 60%+ (of our class) since 1st grade (or earlier), and now – in adulthood, we’re thrown into a world full of strangers, everyday strangers. Friends help, but it doesn’t mend that community we had in our day-to-day school work.
speak for yourself. adulthood is awesome. school sucked.
how do these numbers work? do they just ask and hope everyone tells the truth?
As if married men or men who have had sex at least once can’t be lonely. “You got your dick wet 20 years ago, what’s the problem?!”
Dudes don’t have friends. That’s the epidemic.
Dudes make friends with each other so damn easy it’s a meme for a reason.
Like women have to simultaneously live in a world where you call us all catty bitches who compete with each order but also you all have no fucking friends and can’t make any and boohoo. Pick a fucking lane!
You’re being very reductive. I don’t know who called you a catty bitch but chances are it wasn’t every man who’s ever complained about being lonely.
So when you throw it in men’s faces and say pick a lane, you’re kinda doing the same thing that some men do when after encountering one or two golddiggers they make sweeping generalizations like “women only want men for their money.”
Men can be lonely. Men can also be assholes. But when you try to invalidate some men’s loneliness because some men are assholes, that’s a problem. And that tendency to generalize is one of the big contributing factors to male loneliness today.
Also, I’ve heard women call each other catty bitches, so don’t pretend that’s something only men do. The men you’ve heard say it might even have been repeating what they heard from other women.
Cause friendship is surface level. Try talking about your feelings to one of them and see how quickly you feel alienated.
And it’s not sunshine on other side either in their defense. I’ve been in kind of an all women group once, it was genuinely a suffocating experience. Like there are just so many mannerisms and subtle etiquettes you need to pick up, it’s almost harder to talk your mind in all women setting than in all men.
And who’s you? I don’t think either OP or the commenter is the person calling women catty bitches. Everyone’s experience is different, and its better if you give it back to those who called you a catty bitch rather than a random dude on the internet.
They might not have friends. And even if they have friends, where’s the love? Everybody is doing their own thing. Even a married man can feel loneliness, and if they do, it’s good to start a conversation.
Dudes don’t have friends.
I’ve got plenty of dude friends. And they’ve got friends of their own.
Clubs are full of dudes. Rec leagues are full of dudes. Schools are full of dudes. Bunch of dudes on my street hang out regularly We’re all hanging out and making friends with one another.
It’s real, it’s happening.
Women are about as lonely as men.
The problem is that they’re human and exist in an anti-human environment.
You know who else are lonely? Animals in zoos.
We have created an almost perfect anti-human environment.
The Human Condition is discredited in almost everythimg we plan and do nowadays. The people of the Global South will probably go extinct in the next 200 years because of global warming and we have planned and created car-ceentric, anti-green energy societies all over the planet .
Most people are sad about this but most people have little say in the politics of their country.I was wrong. Most people probably dont care.Most people are sad about this? Most decent people are sad about it. Many people are not decent people, or are being told that being decent people is bad, weak, and probably woke.
Actially … you are correct and Im wrong.
I am a man who believes that 'If something is substantial amongst the people? Then a MASSIVE response from the people will be substantiated"
If most people actually cared about the anti-human environment we have made …why have nost people not put in the work to change this? If most people actually cared about the effects that global warming will have on the planet , ESPECIALLY the Global South and the equitoreal countries… why have most peoole not put in the work to show that they care?
You have said it. The truth is that most people are not decent and that they dont care about either of these issues cause they just keep on and keep on mindlessly making more babies to be miserable with them and going to work in their gas guzzling cars and heck some people definitely dont even need a car to do the things in life that they do and yet… they still own them and use them far too frequently.
Don’t forget the second part of what I said:
or are being told that being decent people is bad, weak, and probably woke.
Never underestimate propaganda and peer pressure. If everyone around you acts like it is not a big thing, you won’t either.
My pet theory is that almost all stable societies need some kind of enforced normal-ness. Whether it’s being catholic and paying taxes to the king, being a cheeseburger-eating, bud light drinking, tuck-driving redneck or even being a tree-hugging wannabe-leftist academic with a bike and a mullet. Monkeys like being around people telling them they are normal. Society organises to provide a sense of “normal”. It is extremely hard to break through this, and it essentially only works if a large party of the people form a new normal.
Personally I fee l that ‘normalness’ , no matter what form it takes, shouldnt include the bombing of Yemeni, Iranians and Lebanese civilians and the deliberate depressing of wages of poor people, Or the destruction of the livelihoods of poor Equitoreal communities through climate change
Most people still see it as ‘normal’ to join the american and israeli militaries and still see iit as noormal to bomb out Yemeni, Lebanese and Iranian civilians (which is STILL happening as I type this and there has never been a substantiated uproar tto stop this)
Most people still see it as ‘normal’ that most people from the Global South get paid as if they were slaves and remain in poverty or near poverty no matter what they do oor how hard they work.
Most people still seee it as ‘normal’ just go out and about in this anti-green energy world that we have created here even though the IPCC has proven thatt climate change wil irreperably. destory every community nearr the equator and in the Global South for the next 200 years!
Please note: I chose the word “normal” for lack of a better word, and in its most technical sense only. I do not want to imply any moral judgement.
But in that sense of the word, yes, shrugging when the news show pictures of dead innocents is “normal”. Just like not too long ago it was normal to not treat black people like human beings, or a bit before that, to burn people who disagree with your religious dogma at the stake. In another part of the world, it was normal to sacrifice a poor sod every now and then to make sure the harvests are successful. And don’t get me started on the history of wars. All of this is “normal” as in, it was perceived to be just how things are by the majority.
Actually, I believe that only by understanding that normal and morally right do not necessarily have anything in common, one can understand how bad the “normal” is, and demand change. “Can’t you see this is bad and we need to do something” does not work because no, it is normal to do nothing. Creating a new normal is pretty damn hard, creating a morally better one is even harder.
If you listen to today’s 4chan, you’re an idiot.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Wow, statistics sure do a great job of revealing numbers!
show me your numbers bro.
no homo.
Soo in my group of friends and former classmates the situation is really bad.
Now we were a group of gamers. That didnt help to meet girls LOL. Also early porn consumption. I guess as early as 16 might have had an effect. The guys who dont have obvious flaws but get no women were into mangas early on.
My advice would be skip the porn and the fapping. Select hobbies that give you chances to meet women.
I agree with the hobbies, but I think you can probably still jack off.
I thought “male lonileness epidemic” meant how fucking hard it’s to make friends as a guy/boymoder.
It takes extreme luck to join a friend group, and as soon as people get comfortable they start ranting about gay people or such.
well if those gays would stop destroying society we could all be friends.
also they need to leave the frogs alone. poor froggies.
Username checks out.
Fucking this right here. Do these people have any idea how living in a red state fucks with your ability to make friends?
Not only living jn a red state only. Ive found that people living in a conservative anything fucks with friend making.
Why are we conflating emotional intimacy and sex? They aren’t the same thing. The fact that men are often taught that they are the same thing is part of why there is a loneliness epidemic.
because for a horny sad 20 year old they are the only thing that matters in life.
no mount of companionship will satisfy his desperate need to get laid.
See that’s the thing - again, need for sex and need for emotional intimacy aren’t the same thing. The propaganda that says they are is why those boys are both horny and sad - they’re trying to meet two drives at once and failing both because of this misunderstanding. If they were emotionally stable and had community and belongingness, it’d actually be a lot easier for them to get laid and their mental health would also be way better.
have you ever been a 20 year old boy?
do you think any 20 year old boy could conceptualize the difference? part of growing up is learning things.
it’s not propaganda, it’s life. nobody at the age of 20 is stable, because they are still figuring out who they are. when i was 20 i had tons of friends and community and all that horse shit, but nothing mattered other than getting sex, because it felt so goddamn good and nothing else remotely compared to sex. it was the most satisfying experience i’d ever had in life at that point and continued to be so until i was like 30. drugs, food, parties, friends, family, none of that mattered a lick compared to the amazing feelings of sex with a girl that I liked. god, to this day those memories are the most strong, far more strong than my ‘sense of belonging’ at my university… was orgasmic super hard with a hot girl in my bed and laying there with her and spending time with her chilling and banging repeatedly. or studying together and taking fuck breaks every hour or so.
have of the ‘mental health’ crisis is just society pathological normal life, as it tightens the noose. you are not allowed to figure shit out anymore, apparent if you’re 20 and you aren’t full ‘communting a belongingness’ you’re ill and need to be ‘fixed’ or ‘corrected’.
god i’m in my fucking 40s and all i do is get lectured by semi-strangers irl about how ‘problematic’ I am for like owning a cat or other totally normal things. Or reading books. or a million other things people have randomly deecided are ‘wrong and bad’ that 10 years ago nobody cared about.
you sure the issue is the kids, or the fact the adults judging them are all paranoid perfectionist idiots who worship some ideal that doesn’t exist in the real world and to which they are forever comparing themselves and everyone else, in despair? no… that can’t be it… it’s those stupid boys who are dumb. not us!
no kids, don’t want sex, just want ‘belongingness’ that will totally… ‘fufill’ you… lol… why not just medicate them into oblivion if your end goal is this kumbaya passive bullshit ideal? or castrate them! clearly that will fix their ‘problem’.
i don’t know why it’s so hard for people to just admit sex is awesome and not having it sucks and it’s one of the most joyful experiences in human life and it very much will make you feel less lonely when it’s with someone you love and care about. this has become taboo talking point lately though, apparently wanting sex and love makes you an evil person now… instead of being a default component of the human condition.
and rather than talk about it we just insist that ‘community’ will fix it or something… lol
I never said anything about being anti-sex so I think you’re having an argument with someone that isn’t me, hope you feel better.
Eh idk, my experience with the “male loneliness epidemic” is:
It’s not just about “sex” (which it seems like that’s all EVERYONE can focus on, so I get it,) but also about deeper meaningful connections. Personally, I have a few FWB, I want to fall in love with someone again, though, tbf, the part of me that had the ability to do that could also be dead, kinda hard to tell tbh.
It’s also about (again, for me) the fact that increasingly it seems that the ONLY places acceptable to meet a woman you have not yet talked to are:
A) Online dating services that sell your data, are designed not to give good matches because they want you to stay on the app, and charge a fee for the apps to even be useful, and they’re all owned by one company.
B) The bar. That’s it.
Well, as for A, I value my privacy, and don’t enjoy paying money to have horrible experiences. I run GrapheneOS idek if tindr would run. I don’t even have social media, I can’t stand writing my own bio and don’t take selfies, it’s not a good option for anyone but doubly so for me. Also I’m not Tom Cruise (or whoever you’re horny for just sub them in) level attractive and as such I have to rely on my personality, which isn’t really text and picture based. As for B, I do still drink but not like I used to, and even if I did I can’t afford to go out as much as I used to in this fucked economy, and tbh meeting drunk women doesn’t seem like a good idea anymore, feels like it opens me up to problems I don’t fucking need tbh.
So where does that leave me? Well, common advice is to:
“Have your friends set you up with someone.” Ok great. None of them have any single friends, at least none that have expressed interest in being set up with me, or that I am interested in myself. So, either “pray,” or I could actively make new friends just for the express purpose of finding out if they have hot friends that want me, if not, move to the next friend I can find and try again? Sounds like a bad plan to me. I don’t have the social battery for all that honestly.
“Go to the gym,” you mean the place women complain about being hit on the most? Sure, that’ll help, “idfk how to use this giant machine and I know you just watched me look like a giant idiot, and I know you hate being asked here, but I saw you from across the yoga mat and thought you had a cool vibe, wanna go out some time?” That’s setting yourself up for success right there lol.
“Find a hobby,” yes because when I’m not at work or sleeping I simply stand and stare at a wall. OF COURSE I have hobbies, but not only do “women want to enjoy their hobbies without being approached” also my hobby is hiking local trails and taking pics of (mundane to you but to me,) neat animals like salamanders and snakes. Idk if you guys are aware of this, but women would rather meet a literal bear in the woods than a nerd with a camera, I used to talk to people on the trails but now I just give them a wide berth (unless they’re dudes, dudes are chill). Also like the library, but I’m the only one under 70 (well, and above 18, lots of parents with kids but that doesn’t help me lol), other than the cute librarian I have a crush on (but you’re not supposed to ask them out while they’re working either, and also if she says no it’ll now be awkward every time I go cause I’ll feel like a creep, so she’ll never know).
The real solutions seem to be we need a third place that is acceptable to meet someone and ask them out politely and take no for an answer, or women would need to start asking men they like if it’s unacceptable the other way around, or I need to become gay because as I said earlier guys are chill, you can talk to them anywhere. Unfortunately we’re actively killing third places and the ones still alive women complain about being approached, women so rarely ask a guy out and I don’t think it’s becoming more common, and afaik I was born unlucky on the gayness.
And I mean, am I “lonely?” Idk. I have friends, FWBs, kitties, I’ve had abusive relationships worse than loneliness, so “no” I guess, but also yes insofar as “I haven’t felt real love in about 15 years and it’d be pretty cool to feel that for someone again,” and I’ll guaranteed never find it if I don’t start doing the secret solution: Just say fuck it, fuck you, and fuck what is socially acceptable, just start asking out ANY woman I see/like ANYWHERE, politely and take no for an answer of course, but anywhere. At my job, at her job, at the gym, in Aisle 10, on the trails, fuck it. If I don’t it seems my only option is to pray to a god I’ve never believed in that a lady falls in front of me like goddamn Rufus in Dogma and she happens to like me, and I happen to like her lmao.
You need to find a trail hiking group. You don’t need to change hobbies it sounds like. Try organizing a hike in your area and invite people to come along if you can’t find any. You’ll meet people quickly doing that.
Genuinely though the bar is at the floor for guys right now. If you are well groomed, friendly, and genuinely interested in learning about the specific woman you’re talking to then that alone would bump you up a lot of your potential matches. If you’re walking anywhere and the other person looks like they’re not trying to ignore your existence then you have better chances.
Try going shopping on the weekend; lots of woman are more willing to talk in stores and such when they’re not stressed out from work. If they hold eye contact with you in a friendly way then try saying hi and just chatting to get to know them a little and what they’re out and about for.
If they hold eye contact with you in a friendly way then try saying hi and just chatting to get to know them a little and what they’re out and about for.
written by somebody who has absolutely zero real-life experience. if you do that, women will say that you can’t just let people “be nice” and have to take everything up as a flirting opportunity.
written by somebody who has absolutely zero real-life experience.
Make up whatever reality suits you about me man.
if you do that, women will say that you can’t just let people “be nice” and have to take everything up as a flirting opportunity.
You don’t have to flirt with everyone making eye contact with you. Intention is what matters, intending just to flirt doesn’t usually come across as you being genuinely interested in them as an individual.
If someone holds eye contact with you in a friendly way in a store, saying hi to them will probably make them feel better more often than not. Asking them about why they’re out and about gives them room to talk and choose if they want to carry a conversation with you. If they want to keep the conversation going, they certainly might and possibly even bounce it back by asking what’s got you out and about.
You have to remember body language matters a lot for in person conversations as well. So if they’re looking at their phone or looking around like they want out of the conversation then definitely take that as a sign to let it go. Tempered body language of your own can convey a lot on its own as well. Such as not coming across as too desperate for their attention.
I’m down, but where? That whole “not doing social media” thing means no Facebook, where all those local hiking groups would be organizing, or where I’d have to post if I were the organizer (and organizing a meeting then trying to meet a woman there feels sketchy, anyway).
Genuinely though the bar is at the floor for guys right now. If you are well groomed, friendly, and genuinely interested in learning about the specific woman you’re talking to then that alone would bump you up a lot of your potential matches.
Yeah honestly that isn’t my issue, once I get my foot in the door I’m good, but all the doors are locked and I can’t find my pick, the issue is starting that conversation to begin with.
Try going shopping on the weekend; lots of woman are more willing to talk in stores and such when they’re not stressed out from work. If they hold eye contact with you in a friendly way then try saying hi and just chatting to get to know them a little and what they’re out and about for.
Fair enough, this is basically a more succinct and less explicit version of my final conclusion lol. That’s kinda the plan, but most women I talk to (irl or online) seem to indicate that is socially unacceptable now too.
Which actually probably helps the bar being on the floor btw, all the guys afraid of making women uncomfortable and being creepy are not approaching them because they complained and we listened, now the only guys approaching women in public are the ones who don’t care about creeping them out, because they didn’t listen. I’m not saying that’s the whole problem but it has to be some %.
all the guys afraid of making women uncomfortable and being creepy are not approaching them because they complained and we listened, now the only guys approaching women in public are the ones who don’t care about creeping them out, because they didn’t listen.
Absolutely correct. I’ve been pointing this out for years and people gaslight me about it and act like I’m the problem for calling attention to it, but it absolutely is a real phenomenon.
There might be public postings already out there listed at a local community college, community center, or city website for public events near you. If you post a meet up, do so with the intent of just bringing people to together and having fun, doing so with just intent of meeting women should come second. If you meet people that you vibe with then for sure invite them to more hikes or other shared activities.
Hosting Partifuls could help a lot to get things off the ground as well. My friend does those all of the time even for the most mundane things and lots of friends and acquaintances will show up and bring friends along.
For getting your foot in the door, it’s a lot of putting yourself in the right spaces to meet people. If you don’t have an issue actually connecting, then that’s a great start. I’d advise trying friend finding apps too since the pressure is offloaded on those compared to strictly dating apps. Lots of women want to find guys they could at least be friends with first before committing to dating. You remove a lot of the barriers of pressure when meeting up doesn’t have to be a date, but can be if you both are connecting.
Fair enough, this is basically a more succinct and less explicit version of my final conclusion lol. That’s kinda the plan, but most women I talk to (irl or online) seem to indicate that is socially unacceptable now too.
I feel where you go matters, what time you go matters, and not forcing the interaction matters for this. If you go to a woman dominated space and are confident and cool headed about it, just that and being dressed the part for being there could have you being checked out by women. Probably less a bookstore, more a ‘healthy’ lunch spot or outdoor/indoor mall. After their first coffee and before lunch? You’re golden. Specifically during/after lunch? Golden. After dinner? Generally fine.
Which actually probably helps the bar being on the floor btw, all the guys afraid of making women uncomfortable and being creepy are not approaching them because they complained and we listened, now the only guys approaching women in public are the ones who don’t care about creeping them out, because they didn’t listen. I’m not saying that’s the whole problem but it has to be some %.
You gotta believe and know that you’re coming with pure intentions; if you get caught up in the anxiety of not trying to look weird/creepy it’ll just come off that way instead imo. Out in the world, woman are way more chill than online makes women out to be. There are certainly a number of women that are reasonably wary, due to weirdos with no respect boundaries, but if you look, act, and are friendly then you definitely will meet woman that have been looking for someone like that.
You also gotta pre-emptively accept the possibility that youll NEVER meet friends or a partner who wants to be associated with you despite your best efforts. It is a possibility and there is nothing wrong with you if that happens to you and youre a kind, quiet , peaceful person. It is what it is
Human-Human relationships are sort of an ‘It Is Whatt It Is’ Type Of Affair these days. You can do everything kindly and to your best efforts to meet other like-minded people …and everyone can still not want to be your friend or lover. You can be worst than Adolph Shiter or Suharto and be surrounded with a million admirers and fake friends. It is what it is.
'Sadly it is what it is BUT At least you tried ’ is how I see it nowadays. 🤷🏿♂️
Best of wishes to you and everyone else who is lonely out here. Best of wishes on the journey comrade.🫂🫡
this is complete nonsense. generic internet advice that ‘seems plausible’ but if you go into the real world you’ll quickly realize what bullshit it is.
What’s nonsense about it? Let me know what specific parts of what I said that are nonsense to you? I took the time to write out a thoughtful reply to the other person, you can do the same here.
Let’s see you share some helpful advice that’s actually constructive and optimistic rather than judgmental. You offered no substance in your response but just sought to tear down what I contributed to the discussion.
It’s easy to criticize, it’s a lot more effort to actually engage with the discussion and offer alternatives. Like a normal dialogue functions.
because you think it’s the 1950s, your advice is boomer level ‘go to a their office and shake their hand and you will get a job’.
No, that’s not how anything works in 2020s. They will call the cops on you and ask you to leave.
My advice would be to give up and enjoy life because dating and mating is systematically fucked due to social media addiction. And the numbers around it mean you have a < 10% chance of someone who isn’t social media brain-fucked, and all the stats on the issue are insane and unreasonable and that’s why everyone is so unhappy.
Not my job to fix anyone else, nor my job to work like a dog to ‘appeal’ to people who expect the ‘average’ guy to by over 6’ and make 2x median wage. Let them be miserable. I’d rather be alone and invest in myself and be happy, which I have been doing for 8 years and it’s fucking awesome. Image spending your money on shit you enjoy rather than spending it on dating where it goes down a blackhole of someone else’s insatiable greed and self-imposed misery?
But you can’t convince horny young dudes that getting laid will solve all their problems, and more than you can convince single women that a rich handsome guy will solve all theirs. They have to make the choice themselves to be happy now rather than endlessly daydreaming about some ideal future that won’t ever come.
That’s an effective summary of the situation. Society has effectively made it taboo to pursue dating/romance in just about any irl space where you might meet someone. Makes me wonder how much was social engineering on the part of dating apps (like Match group astroturfing on reddit/social media).
As for your last paragraph, sorry to tell you this, but that won’t work either. People will start noticing and telling their friends about you, calling you names, saying you ask out literally every woman you meet, calling you fuckboy, creep, or whatever. It doesn’t matter how polite you are or how respectful. In fact if you bring attention to how polite and respectful you’re being, they’ll view that as even worse. Eventually someone will sneak a picture of you and it’ll make the rounds on social media. There are entire sites and apps dedicated to women gossiping about men. It doesn’t take much to kill your whole reputation. And women talk to each other about the men they see, so if you become known as “that guy,” then even if you meet a woman who hasn’t heard of you and things start going well, eventually one of her friends will tell her you’re a walking red flag and she’ll ghost you without an explanation.
So no, casting a wide net is not a solution. And if you’re waiting for the perfect woman to fall into your lap and make all the moves and seem to genuinely like you, you’re more likely to get catphished than you are to find love.
This is just the world we’re living in now. Hate to break it to you…
That’s an effective summary of the situation. Society has effectively made it taboo to pursue dating/romance in just about any irl space where you might meet someone. Makes me wonder how much was social engineering on the part of dating apps (like Match group astroturfing on reddit/social media).
i tend to think it’s a christian thing. “sexuality and lust are evil, you’re not supposed to flirt” kinda thing.
As for your last paragraph, sorry to tell you this, but that won’t work either. People will start noticing and telling their friends about you, calling you names, saying you ask out literally every woman you meet, calling you fuckboy, creep, or whatever. It doesn’t matter how polite you are or how respectful. In fact if you bring attention to how polite and respectful you’re being, they’ll view that as even worse. Eventually someone will sneak a picture of you and it’ll make the rounds on social media. There are entire sites and apps dedicated to women gossiping about men. It doesn’t take much to kill your whole reputation. And women talk to each other about the men they see, so if you become known as “that guy,” then even if you meet a woman who hasn’t heard of you and things start going well, eventually one of her friends will tell her you’re a walking red flag and she’ll ghost you without an explanation.
and that is also spot-on. 100%
Ya I remember encountering a gossip website that had mostly what I believed to be women talking about men and women they had dated.
I swear the website must have been breaking some rules cause I was shocked that such website could talk so explicitly about people.
Like one of the people talked about was a woman who lives in Niagara Falls she works part time as a prostitute to make ends meet, and they eben shared her full name, picture , AND her address. The women there, who saod they were women, who had befriended her said that she ‘acts too nice’ and ‘she doesnt want to partake in gossip which makes her an awful persom cause gossiping helps you learn more about yourself’ … 😐 They said other nasty things about her too.
There was another profipe of a man, mid 50s, Black , with his picture, full name, and address once again. The women who dated him said that he is a weordo because he only eats plain food. Like he only drinks water. WHen he eats a hotdog he only eats it plain. No condiments on his burger . A group of the women reportd that ‘he isnt a man cause his penis doesnt work. He has no swimmers in his sperm. Dont date him’ . They said some other nasty things about him too
The thing I found earth shattering is that these are only 2 profiles of 2 differemt peoplr on this website. Bro…that website had HUNDREDS of profiles of different people. Even politicians had profiles made of them by the people who dated them there.
If I ever find that website agaim Ill HAVE to share it cause it… its earth shatterimg that such a website can have people just talk aboit each other and others like that. But hopefully the website is down by now.
Personally I dont feel that women or men or any people of any gender are a ‘monolith’ . Most people in my experience based on wjho Ive talked to and what weve talked about are out doing their own things. Though obviously my experience is just once experience. There are clearly some places where the people act in monolithic, spiteful and ‘gossipy and busybodying’ ways
that is so well-written it deserves a place on my disk.
yeah, that’s precisely how it is. effectively you can’t date women today. i’ve given up. i’m bi so i have other options but damn is the situation not good for anyone straight today.
dating was easy in the 2000s.
mostly because women, and everybody really, weren’t such self-important arrogant assholes. they had a sense of humility and modesty that… basically nobody has today.
everyone today thinks they are an epic hero in a tragic story of their life. It’s insane. nobody wants to deal with that, and yet people can’t get over themselves and realize they are just people.
these days every other person i meet, especially under 40, basically wont’ shut up about how persecuted and unfair their life is, evne when objectively, they have it better than 99% of other people, if anything it gets worse the more successful they are.
the issue isn’t ‘third spaces’ or any of the stuff people whing about on here. it’s that social media has turned the average person into a fucking monster, and well, the vast majority of people use social media. 90% of women under 40 use social media on a daily basis, and for under 30 it’s like 96%. Boys trail by about 10-15%.
the same reason that when i walk my dog… only people over 50 every acknowledge or say hi to me. younger folks entirely have lost all ability to socialize without turning it into an ‘epic struggle’. or some battle of the sex or wills.
I date actively. 15 years ago my dates were mostly chill… now most of my dates, even younger dates, are adversarial and hostile out of the gate. and they wonder why they can’t ‘connect’ well… because their default disposition towards the world is ‘i hate it’ rather than ‘i am curious to learn about it’.
my mind is blow as each year goes by how, more and more hostile people are in general, especially towards anyone who is ‘different’ than them. I’ve even been on dates where I am trying ot have a nice time and my date is like sitting there, shitting on the people around us for the most stupid/shallow reasons, and like expects me to think that is ‘fun’ or trashing their friends to me and uptalking themself, and I’m just… appalled at how gross they are being.
There is no male loneliness epidemic; there is a loneliness epidemic. They have been talking about it since at least 2020 and it predates the pandemic. Anyone calling it a male loneliness epidemic is absolutely engagement farming. The entire manosphere is a rage-bait-engagement-farming scam.
There’s a general loneliness epidemic, but there’s a difference between men and women.
If only I knew earlier that the males are all suffering with virginity. I could be out there solving this thing one by one (I’m gay).
i don’t think the virgins are on grindr
I know. They’re on 4chan.
Not just engagement. Back when it was just a loneliness epidemic, there were talks of maybe bringing back third places, or changing society to help. Then it became a male epidemic, and suddenly it was someone else’s problem, it’s an individual issue, no need to make a cause of it.
who would want to help men? that’s gay.
it is particularly male though because studies show older men don’t have friends
no men have friends.
and women have friends, but hate all of them and talk about how awful they are.
which once is better off?
i mean the multiple studies concluded women and that men need t o allowed to share emotions in American society
studies tell us obesity is bad for us.
and we keep getting fatter.
almost as if people don’t listen to studies, and act on impulse and emotion…
There is a capitalist alienation epidemic.
Me in the >10% category.
Sex, relationships, and loneliness are all distinct domains. There’s important overlap to be sure. But they are not the same things. You can be a casanova and still be lonely. You can be stuck in a bad marriage and feel very lonely indeed.
I think a lot of modern people (regardless of gender identity) have problems making and keeping friends, too. Long-term friendships take work, sacrifice, and compromise. It’s not just compatible interests and personalities.
