Modest, as always, Trump felt that he owed it to the American people to finally come clean about his true, heroic activities on 9/11.

As much as he fantasizes about two hot steamy men carrying him away, that is a total lie. I’ve seen 600 Pound Life-- it’d take like four muscular men to carry his fat ass.

https://politifact.com/article/2016/feb/22/donald-trump-was-new-york-911-contrary-2004-time-m/

According to uh, himself, he was in his apartment watching people jump. Strange he neglected to mention the firefighters at that time.

The firefighters can’t corroborate the story because they both died of exhaustion moments later.

If this man had just gotten a fucking boyfriend when he was young the world would be a better place. He loves big strong beautiful men, we get it.