Dawn

Oh yeah basically all senses became more intense.

What

Thank you <3

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Hey ! Haven’t posted in some time here… last time it was about my fear of regretting transitioning and being sure of who I am. I’m pretty sure now, I have been on hormones for like 6-7months (since september), I love the changes to my body, my mood, my mind… But, I went out “as fem” to see if I could stomach being “full time” as they said.

So here I am, having worked on my wardrobe, doing hours of voice training, having learned for hours how to do my make up… only for it to feel so so small, to be worth nothing. And I was wondering, honestly, does it get better… ? I feel kinda low at the moment :/

Nope thank you we aight

A Star Slop adventure

I think zombies go under kernel or “root process” by default now

All old dudes lmao

Yeah and his government lasted 13h

It’s true that seeing the alternative, just forgetting about it all and shove it in a corner of my mind, I would always wonder what had been. Honestly, this is a scary possibility to me, the road just seems so long. When I look into the mirror, no matter how I dress, no matter how I shave, I always see a man trying to be girl… I sincerely hope that HRT will help in all of this, but I’m so scared of the consequences.

Thank you for your reply, I will try journaling it and see what comes out. You’re right, it’s always useful !

Thanks ! That’s reassuring. I thought that after feelings the hormonal effects I would be more set in my decision

Started HRT but i feel so, so scared of what i’m doing. Am i doing this for the right reasons ? Will I be capable of being a woman ? Of transitioning ? Will I regret it ? I get so much doubts lately, it’s making me panic repeatedly… Life is hard right now

Y E S

If the economy is not democratic, it is not a democracy

Don’t take that the wrong way, but I feel like that too when it’s a bit bloated and it may happen when i wake up lmao

Haha i’m glad we’re known for that in the eu

This goes so hard lmao I sincerely thought this was a post before I saw the tweet

Don’t forget to put words on how you feel with your therapist ! This is the best way to find the “way” to get better :)

Got a huge crashdown in the middle of the week and reach to my long-distance situationship for support. She was super cool and I came out to her. She was very accepting but she hasn’t seen physical changes sooo I dunno. We’ll see. But I met a trans friend and had a drink together. She’s pretty much a guide right now. She’s the only trans person I know and she has been for most of her life. So developing a friendship with her means something to me (she’s also very cool and nice obviously).

Strangely it did worsen my impostor syndrom for most of the evening. I felt like the eye of Sauron was judging whether I was legitimatly trans, which we can all agree is ridiculous. She even explicitly told me that imposter syndrom is very dangerous, and to be avoided as much as possible. I’m just vulnerable lately. But that was until she told me she clearly saw signs I was trans before I told her and she gave me one of the greatest gift I’ve ever received in my life : A bible on transidentity that’s not printed anymore (“Gender Stories” by Lexie, “Histoires de genre” in original language), wrapped with a film ribbon of a spaceship launching and with a hard label written “Aurore” on it (Dawn in French, my new name !). It was even sealed with a pentagram like a gift from witch to witch hehehe. The film and seal shall be my bookmark, and the label forever in my cardholder.

On the negative side, I missed my train back from the weekend and a queer friend of mine is seemingly not measuring how important this is all to me, despite what she told me… I intended to lean on her for my transition since she did gender studies and all, but I’m slowly assuming these are just a scam. The only other person I knew that did gender studies was just mean and performative :/

My plan for next week : buy clothes, more makeup and stonk my blahaj +++++