I also wanted to say I enjoy your posts and am glad you decided to stay!
Idk if this is any help or not, but I’m around ~1.5 years on hrt, and so far the worst point for dysphoria during it for me at least was at about the 7-8th-ish month mark. I think there’s something about it where I noticed changes, but they felt so tiny compared to the first few months, and the initial happiness about starting hrt is starting to wear off, and it just all combined to made me anxious that it wasn’t working anymore, I still looked so masculine, etc. But that wasn’t true, and the anxiety and at least the exteme dysphoria did eventually start to pass. It really fucking sucks that it takes so long, but HRT is a second puberty, and puberty takes several years to have it’s full effects. At around that 8 month mark I definitely wasn’t getting gendered correctly a ton in public despite wearing earrings, basic makeup, having my nails painted, etc, but that did eventually switch at some point, and I noticed strangers went from misgendering me (or just not gendering me at all) to gendering me correctly.
I’ve had some of my family get annoyed at me for a similar thing lol. If someone asks me if I’d do something in a hypothetical scenario, I basically always answer with “probably” or “probably not”. I just feel like no matter how certain I feel I would do something in some given situation that I’ve never experienced, I can’t know for certain unless it were to actually happen, so answering as if I’m sure would be incorrect of me.