I think I’m running out of “it is what it is” cards

the transit enthusiast of blahaj zone

  • 25 Posts
  • 66 Comments
Joined 3 months ago
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Cake day: March 11th, 2026

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  • through the last of my high school years I just began to feel like shit, very depressed. couldn’t put a reason to why or how, so I never got help for it. my thoughts became dangerous but I couldn’t just… leave I had people that needed me and loved me too much for that. but still… it never changed the fact that I felt like I was living in third person.

    traditional “guy” friendships were ones I never understood. I always had an easier time talking with girls my age, and especially when I clarified that I was aroace. I’m lucky that barrier could be broken from the get-go, but I still didn’t feel complete.

    in the mirror, I never saw a person that I actually loved. no matter what I wore or how I styled my facial/head hair, I was always doing it for someone else. I was trying to emulate what should’ve looked good, not what made me feel good.

    seeing the hatred around trans people sprouting up around the U.S., I never understood it. my logic was, if they aren’t hurting anyone, why is it an issue? and also being glad I wasn’t being subjected to that hate. still… seeing other MTFs… no. that can’t be me. I wouldn’t even look good as a girl. I already look too masc. where would I start? that would uproot everything in my life. there’s too much to lose…

    I put up a good (bad?) fight. I suppressed those thoughts for nearly three years. nonetheless, two months after I turned 18, I was up far too late in the night and I tried on some different clothes. from there, it all came crashing down.

    and now here I am. shaky, but sure of myself.

    :3





  • unnecessary divisiveness.

    no one is better than another for buying X over Y because X buyers are stupid for purchasing from X because Y is clearly superior.

    all companies are trying to fuck us over. sooner or later they all go as scummy as possible and they won’t care. voting with your wallet at that point will be impossible or a race to the bottom. stand with your fellow common man and say “this sucks, let’s target the bigger picture together and make sure this can’t happen anymore.”