thanks to all the cool folks shutting this shit down, big appreciate y’all
for OP: transgenderism (the word) isn’t real, you idiot. being transgender isn’t a religion, i need testosterone to be normal, which just happens to be something my body doesn’t produce naturally. i don’t worship it
at least talk about being trans correctly
honestly? yeah this
i appreciate you posting this, i like learning more about things and i’m glad i know better now than to just assume the brain is finished developing at 25
so i did a little more reading and the following points still seem clear:
so, instead of just looking at their age, we have to look at their age gap, and ask the question, is there a disproportionate imbalance of power here?
let’s take a moment to define this: the definition i use is roughly, does one person possess more of a handful of traits than the other? these traits are: life experience, career/financial experience, social experience, and general brain development (ability to assess risk reward, understand long term consequences, ability to communicate one’s needs effectively, etc; which is informed both by growth and experience)
obviously, we can’t make a generalized comparison that will be true for every 18 year old and every 26 year old in the world. however, we can understand that, in most circumstances, the 26 year old will have more of each of these attributes in spades than the 18 year old
reversing that argument also makes this very clear: for it to be acceptable, the 26 year old needs to have a comparable maturity and reasoning level to an 18 year old, someone nearly a decade younger than them. which is why i said it’s not something i would brag about, personally. either you’re saying you’re immature as an 18 year old, or you’re saying you’re comfortable, to some degree, of engaging in intimately dangerous behavior with someone who is significantly less experienced and developed than you are (or, i suppose, very rarely, you’ve hooked up with an 18 year old who is not only pretty mature, but who’s been living on their own and supporting themselves for a while. but you didn’t include that in the parameters of the question, so i don’t think that’s what you meant)
to be clear, i understand that the current economic situation has made attaining those life experiences quite difficult, even for people in their mid twenties. however, most people who cannot attain those life experiences, are also generally not hooking up with people, because there are a number of practical barriers to entry there (financial, location, transportation, etc); i don’t think it’s something to be ashamed of! but notably, in this situation, one would be bragging about something very much not worth bragging about, either (and i would hope they were still sensitive to the idea that there are still some differences between them, robbed of the opportunities to spread their wings as an adult, and an 18 year old, who has simply not been alive long enough to do so)
invalidating the question of whether a brain is completely mature at 25 doesn’t mean that an age gap becomes acceptable because “we can’t tell”, it just means we need to apply a more nuanced standard of scrutiny to the situation
which, maybe you agree with, but i wanted to make my position in light of this new evidence very clear
there’s nothing legally wrong with it, but it’s not something i would be happy to hear about from a friend or whatever, cause now i need to ask:
like, it can be done in an ethical way, but in practice, probably won’t be. legally, an 18 year old is an adult, but that does not mean they’re equal in all capacities to adults over 25
generally speaking, unless it was a very isolated hookup without follow up contact, i would pretty strongly recommend against it
that said, yeah, this post reeks of flexing about hooking up with an 18 year old LMAO which… personally, i would not brag about
i think there’s like… different levels of involuntary. like, literally, could not stop? or would significantly hamper / impede the orgasm if they were stopped?
ok so, is sex such a big part of your identity that it warrants taking the name of the thing you think is the hottest? and like, if that’s the case, do you feel no grief about the idea that you can’t directly participate in what you view as the hottest thing in the world?
okay, i understand your point of view. i think that the article blows it up a bit compared to the actual video clip in it. i think she’s probably fine, she’s an adult, she’s choosing to do it again but more (idk why, it doesn’t sound like it was a good experience, but ppl want to leave legacies, i guess)
in that clip, i don’t feel like she broke down in tears, she like… had a an emotional moment. it seems like it was a different experience than what she expected but like… you know, she needed to eat and shit, too. if you caught me 14 hours into a fumbled noita (very difficult roguelite video game) run where i hadn’t been eating or otherwise taking care of myself, you might catch me in frustrated distraught tears too lol, y’know? doesn’t mean it’s traumatic
in all honesty, it sounds like she had to confront how she felt about sex, how sex should go, how sex should go for other people, and frankly, that she believed more impersonal sexual experiences reduce you to a whore. and those are natural feelings to work through after such an experience, but there’s no reason to assume she wasn’t able to come to healthier thought patterns (everyone involved is a consenting adult, sex work is about choice, sex can be transactional and that’s OK, there’s actually nothing inherently wrong with being a whore, it’s all societal judgement, etc etc etc)
anyways, i’m not her. i don’t know what she was feeling in the moment, but whatever it was, it wasn’t so bad that she’s swearing off the idea, i think you can probably be reassured that she’s okay and she’ll continue to be okay even if she goes through with the 1k dudes things
does it not seem judgement to, when someone says something “was taxing”, to instead interpret that as “damaging”? like, that is a much more severe interpretation (with the possible additional implication that it’s permanent in a way)
especially in a sexual context and especially referring to women, implying someone was “damaged” by something carries a lot of implications
as a transgender person (man, specifically), i always wonder about the ostensibly cisgender people who make their enjoyment of opposite/same sex media their identity (so, basically, fujoshi and himedanshi)
no one is saying you can’t enjoy a good love story / dirty story / whatever between two people of the opposite and same sex, but the weird part to me is where it becomes a part of your identity
like, before i knew i was trans, for a period of time when i was younger, i found myself really into a gay ship in a popular media. and i enjoyed it for a bit and then i was like, i don’t really know why it was so compelling, but i thought it would be kind of weird to like, get really into it (as a woman, or so i thought at the time). so i dropped it and moved on with my life and found plenty of het pairings that i could see myself in, and it was fine
then i transitioned a decade later and i look back on it and go “oh”, and now i understand why that gay ship was so compelling
so i mean, that’s my lived experience. and you don’t need to justify or explain your lived experience to anyone, least of all me, some random internet fucko
but i am curious what you find so compelling about the dynamics between two women that your consumption of yuri media merits identifying yourself as such (by this i mean, you like it so much you call yourself, literally, himedanshi)
as a gay man, i certainly read plenty of boy’s love stories, and it has not escaped my attention that many of the authors are women. but i also read a decent chunk of girl’s love comics and even a handful of more normative straight romance comics, the handful that establish a deeper connection between their lead couple than “he’s a man and she’s a woman and they fuck, duh”
but even for the boy’s love stuff, i feel like it’s not a huge part of my identity (i mean, maybe because there’s not a special word for “guy into gay media”, but even then, i don’t think i’d use it more than casually)
anyways, those are my thoughts. but in reality, fuck what i or anyone else thinks, you do you, make you happy, life is too short not to
i’m amused by how judgemental this post comes off as in a nsfw sub. i think, much like you shouldn’t claim that something wasn’t damaging for someone else, you probably shouldn’t claim that it was, if they themselves didn’t state it as such. if i were more allosexual, i’d probably be into that, who doesn’t love a lot of fucking lots of people? (obviously some people don’t, but some people do!)
but i understand that you wanted to talk about this thought experiment and that was additional context for where the idea came from
ironically, i think i’d prefer a one night stand, or like, a date / one night stand (share a meal, do an activity and then fuck). i don’t want to get to know someone, bond with them for a YEAR… so they could fuck me once and dip. what the hell LOL that’s so much effort just to know you won’t have any kind of relationship at the end
but like, a time limited thing, let’s hang out for. a day and fuck at the end, then go back to our respective lives? that sounds pretty alright
yeah same, i was thinking about it the other night, but i was like… even if i found someone into it, i don’t know that i’d be okay afterwards
i fully support your desire to engage in fap fantasies in here, but i think you would have better luck being more upfront about it. otherwise you’ll get folks like me who are just worried you’re gonna hurt yourself or someone else 😅
if this is a serious question and not fap material, this is a conversation you need to have with the others involved lmao
otherwise someone’s gonna end up unhappy with how things go, and it very well could be you
i definitely came in here to shoutout overwatch, my animated porn goat 😭 can’t believe no one else is giving them their due
yeah, for sure… big tits in sweaters get me turned on something awful. or sheer clothing? and ofc bras/bikinis/etc
agreed about there getting less cfnm porn nowadays. a lot of stuff has homogenized
wtf this was so much hotter than i thought it would be from the name
ok gotcha thanks for clarifying lmaooo i felt so judged fr
i guess i assumed i was talking about people who are normal about porn. but i mean, idk, i think knowing a few actors you like isn’t like… crazy? there’s probably a certain level where you’re too interested in it, right, but i don’t think that’s exclusive to porn
there’s also a thought like… yeah, i do miss being partnered… but, i also kinda don’t. like, i’m chill with it. part of it is that i have an absolutely bonkers sex drive and i’m probably better off regulating it on my own than with a partner and the baggage that comes with. and i don’t think i want my sexuality to be something that exclusively belongs with another person, i like having it for myself sometimes. i like that it’s sometimes not about intimacy
don’t get me wrong, really good intimate sex is incredible. it’s great. would love to have it again
i just don’t miss it that much, at least not more than i suffer from a general touch deprivation. i miss it the same way i miss staring deeply into someone’s eyes and holding their hand and kissing them. but i think you get that re: rather have a long makeout session nowadays (even if it still ends in sex)
i like the intimacy, but i also like that primal place where you’re just fucking. and honestly i guess it’s pretty hard for me to get to that place with another person nowadays, i don’t really trust people to be really sensitive to their needs and willing to speak up for them… LMAO ofc due to past experience
but it’s fine, i’m more or less content engaging in it with myself
and the porn helps with that, it’s fun and i agree, i don’t think i can ever know if it was made consentually, i can at least try to do some research and support things where people do interviews and seem genuine and whatnot
idk how good of a job i did like… engaging with your comment as opposed to just kind of rambling about my own shit. but i liked your post and i hope you like mine
some of my friends are open to it but it’s pretty sterile and devoid of details… so i wanna engage on a deeper level. although i don’t really know what that means! and i don’t want to come off creepy/weird/porn obsessed like i apparently did to another commenter LMAO 😭
sourcing good ethical porn might be a good topic of conversation tho, i’ll try that. thanks for the rec, too
could be like a sensory thing too, like, idk, it’s a little less wet to kiss someone after they’ve had a cock in their mouth vs a pussy. you get a lil messier and the sensation might just make you feel icky, or you might not like the taste
unfortunately, OP, we can’t answer for you, but i would caution you from assuming it’s some kind of belief-based disgust or like, a superiority thing, or whatever