Trump’s whole thing is interior decorating.

Seriously, while the world is burning, he’s most concerned with swatches (and being in the Epstein files, of course).

What is the appropriate amount of human suffering and death, in your opinion?

Woosh

Not only my first crush, but what made me realize I’m attracted to dark-haired women who might kill me.

The AI “artists” really crack me up.

It’s like someone telling you they can run really fast, like crazy fast, faster than anyone else in the world.

And then when you ask them to show you, they give you a shit-eating grin and get in a car and hit the gas.

He did basically copy Obama’s inauguration his first time (although a shittier version), and of course, Melania ripped off Michelle Obama’s speech.

Fascists just really can’t create anything.

I can only say yes so many times, and also point out again that it would probably include like, a couple weeks or months of jail time, and then I’d be free to go do as much evil shit as I wanted.

Immediately dissolve FIFA, and turn myself in to the proper authorities, and still probably face basically no consequences.

I think if FIFA was going to think logically, they wouldn’t be a corrupt, evil company.

I swear I heard a country song at work the other day that was talking about hot beer and cold women, and I was like damn, they’re really trying everything now.

I had an ethics class in college where we had to write a 10-page capstone paper for part of the final.

The teacher wrote an outline and description for what she wanted, and encouraged everyone to work on it for a few hours a week to make sure they finished it on time.

I waited until the last day of class, banged it out in about an hour and a half, and submitted it around 15 minutes before it was finally due.

Got an A, with a comment about how great the work was. Kids these days.

It’s so trite, how he was always making a big spectacle out of gun violence.

Good ol’ catholic guilt was a big part of the reason I nearly drank myself to death.

Fuck god, believe in humanity.

I accidentally watched a few minutes of a new episode a year or two ago, and it just… was.

The only attempted joke I recall was Homer likening Marge’s hair to a bell, which I guess kinda?

It was kind of freaky. Like seeing something I should recognize, but couldn’t.

Good thing I don’t go anywhere, do anything, or talk to anyone.

Mini drone that follows/records the user and wide angle panoramas of the surrounding area at the same time.

Get to it, gopro. Be the change you wish to see.

Yeah, it’s like, I’m all for guns existing, I even think every human should get a free assault rifle, because reality is rough and they’re very useful.

Just as long as no one ever shoots each other. That should be totally off the table.

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Wait, you’re telling me murdering random people on the ocean isn’t solving the problem that America is ran by pedophiles?

Well shit, I’m out of ideas. Anyone? Is there anything that could possibly fix this problem? Should we do slavery again? Would that help?

Glad to see an “investment” tab on the official whitehouse page.

At least America isn’t hiding it anymore. In a sense, it’s a little freeing.

It’s easy to say “Fuck America” now, even as an American.