hey yall. thanks to everybody who responded for the feedback on my last post. just wanted to give a little update on what i decided, and yeah i decided to come out to them after all. after thinking about it for a while i decided that if i do go no contact with them i would prefer that it be a clean break, rather than just ghosting them and having to wonder how they would have responded if i told them. now i get to know and if it does end up going predictably bad at least it will be over.

i sent the text id been sitting on for months to my whole immediate family in the family group text, like 20 minutes ago. no one has said anything, and its a few hours later where they are so they might not see it tonight, but i sent it and thats enough for now. i immediately blocked both my parents so i dont have to worry about dodging their texts or calls until im ready to look at what they say. im hoping my younger sister will be supportive at least, and i know my older sister is because i came out to her a while ago.

anyway thats all. thanks again for everything you said. it helped a lot. i might have another update before too long lol.

edit: the text i sent is copied below if anyone is curious to read it

Hey everybody,

Got some big news to share. It’s been difficult to figure out how to say it and I’m pretty worried about your reactions, especially with politics the way they are these days, but I have to eventually so here we are. I’m a trans woman. I’ve been going by NAME and using she/her pronouns. I’m sure you’ve heard a lot of lies about people like me on the news, and you probably have a lot of questions. The short story is I realized a couple years ago, but a part of me has known my whole life. I worked so hard to deny it and hide it for way too long but I can’t anymore. I started hormonal transition a little more than a year ago, and it makes me happier than I ever thought I could be. I’m going to continue with it but beyond that I don’t have concrete plans.

I’m hoping you can come to accept me as I am. I wont be receptive to any attempts to convince me to change my mind, so please don’t try. It would only hurt me and push me away. I’m telling you who I am so that you know, and hopefully so I can finally be my real self around you. You may be surprised to learn that I haven’t been for a very long time. I realize this might be a lot for you to take in. Please take a few days to process before you try to contact me so we can talk calmly.

Sorry to do this over text, but I couldn’t bring myself to say the words to you out loud.

Your daughter/sister, NAME

  • Ikona@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    0·
    10 days ago

    I am so proud of you. I hope for the best but I feel anyways you will be better in one form or the other. Your message to them was really nice. I am rooting for you!! (੭˃ᴗ˂)੭

  • Maeve@kbin.earth
    0·
    11 days ago

    That took a lot of courage, and I’m really proud of you. We’re here for you.

  • rowinxavier@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    11 days ago

    I left home at 17 and spent a little time homeless before getting life sorted. I didn’t go no contact and looking back that was a mistake. Nothing I ever needed came from them and they were only a drain on my resources. I am now 38, so 21 years out, and I am now fully no contact for 9 years and they have been the best 9 years so far. Not saying you have to go no contact, but if you do you will survive.

  • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    11 days ago

    This is the worst it can be. Any change to this situation, no matter how they respond, will be an improvement. You’ll know, one way or another, and depending on their choices, they may get to keep their child.

    You’re a strong one.

      • Estiar@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        0·
        11 days ago

        My gay flight Captain had no contact with his parents for a while but then they came around eventually. I really hope that their desire for a relationship with you overcomes their transphobia

  • Azura The Spellkissed@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    0·
    11 days ago

    I’m proud of you, sing that takes courage and energy. So your other family members besides your parents are informed as well, right? If you blocked your parents, do you still see their responses in the group chat?

    Regarding your other family members, I think it’s helpful to try to radiate confidence in your “decision” and to not fail to convey that is a relief rather than a burden / it makes you happy. I know from your posts that you’re eloquent and not toooo shy, but some people are different when talking to family, so I just wanted to make sure.

    Stay strong, darling! 😘

    • applebusch (she/her)@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
      0·
      11 days ago

      yeah my parents, sisters, and brother in law were all informed at once. yeah i think i can see their responses if they send any, just takes a little effort. it doesnt seem like they’ve said anything yet which is respecting my request not to reach out for a few days. ill update the post with the text if youre curious.

  • Zoe@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    0·
    11 days ago

    Congratulations! I sent a very similar message to my family a few weeks ago. No matter how anyone responds, at least you don’t have to live with the dread of it hanging over you anymore! I hope they’re surprisingly supportive. I’m proud of you, and here if you need anything 💜

  • Azalea@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    0·
    11 days ago

    I hope it goes well <3

    I think you’re very strong for coming out to them despite how they might react.