You know what’s fuckin’ wild? I’ve literally only ever had to do these dumbass “team-building exercises” that treat you like a toddler in kindergarten at jobs where you never actually work as a god damn team. Meanwhile, every job that required working with others in some meaningful way just threw you into the grinder and let you figure it out.
We had one where we had to share a fun fact about our names. I opened with “actually I’ve got a fake name” and freaked out my boss, it was fun. My ancestor made up a fake name while emigrating over a century ago.
Fucking nightmare.
On my last corpo job onboarding there were about 50 new starters and the HR lady pulled out a microphone and asked everyone to share something interesting about themselves as an ice breaker.
You could hear the cringe in the air. I just said that I like coffee.
Where did you get this CIA blacksite room photo?
A fun fact about myself is that I hate being forced to tell other people fun facts about myself
‘Everyday I come to work I want to kill myself’
Nah. It’s Two Truths and a Lie. So I’d be like:
- “Every Monday I come to work I want to kill myself.”
- “Every Tuesday I come to work I want to kill myself.”
- “Every Wednesday I come to work I want to kill myself.”
I’d quit.
Anyone stressed out or unable to handle such a simple social situation is utterly broken. Broken as in, I don’t trust you to be able to act like a decent human being, you’re fucking weird, stay away from me.
mandatory fun
How can you tell? Is it the balloon?
I never notice these things… Is there a game on the internet where you have to detect ai images
Yes the balloon is phasing into the chair and also zoom in at the picture of the people giving each other high fives. The guy on the far right, arms don’t work like that.
partially the balloon, but also the “mandatory fun” poster is way too on-the-nose - nobody working in HR is self-aware enough to do that
I just figured it with being so on the nose that it was from an episode of The Office or something like that.
It’s important to remember that while HR as an institution exists to prevent lawsuits, most people go into HR because they like humans.
If they like humans then why are they like this?
I didn’t think of that. If i worked in HR I’d totally do this.
The text is also a bit weird
But yes, the balloon inside the chair is the telltale
I would love to learn what stands out about the text. Is it the margins on the paper?
I don’t even know if I could put it into words… It’s too bold and clear compared to the rest of the stuff in the scene.
I also think there’s something about the angle the supposed photo was taken from that would make the text look subtly distorted in some way, and it’s not.
Everything looks pretty convincing until you see the balloon magically phasing through the chair.
Headless Mike, Suzie long arms and Johnny the two right Wonder Boy didn’t tip you off?
Wow that was a jump scare when I zoomed in.
The door frame also has two completely different latches and paint colors on either side.
Non-standard paper sizes (specifically our right, with the emojis) tipped me off
I’m really glad we have offices to contain these people, and keep them away from the general population.
The problem is, they occasionally escape containment, end up on an outdoor trip of some kind, and decide that a game of “let’s go around the circle and introduce ourselves” is what we should be doing, rather than the activity we came here to do.
I have unfun facts about myself ONLY
I’d love to know how the person who came up with that idea was raised. Are they completely oblivious to social interaction? Are they missing a fundamental piece of neurology?
Or, its a joke.
Severance vibes
