I run my hand over every button and run out before the doors close. I refuse to interact.

“Which floor?”

Aro-ace is a superpower.

drops a magnum condom Sorry that’s for my magnum dong /s. Take the elevator as usual, they could not coerce me to do anything other than say hi.

Hi ho Kermit the frog here!

Eh I’m more into smelly hunched over gremlin women with masters degrees in something highly specific like arthropod mating habits

Hi yes I do have access to highly classified information and willing to share it for 3+ \s

“Sorry. I just ripped a monster fart. Don’t smile because it might stick to your teeth.”