You’d think UHC would strive to behave impeccably with all the publicity around them lately. But no: they’re so shameless and so greedy they even behave rotten when everybody is busy dissecting their every moves. Amazing…
Why? “Line must go up”
If that were the case, they’d have off’d the CEO themselves. That’s multi-millions that could go back to other higher-ups. Then we have a Highlander situation.
The CEO serves a very important role in that they get all the fallout for what the board probably wants, and then if there’s enough bad publicity, they can fire the CEO and pretend that the CEO acted entirely out of their own volition.
I mean that’s not to say they’re not greedy bloodsuckers, but they’re greedy bloodsuckers that the board needs. Because the board are even bigger greedy bloodsuckers and want to stay out of the news.
One less golden parachute. More for the rest.
Because doing otherwise wouldn’t maximize profits. There’s no actual competition in the market for consumers to choose. Nearly all Americans get insurance through their work, and have absolutely no say in what companies those options are from, and those options might only change at the end of the year if the company changes their insurance partner (which I’m sure takes months to negotiate). UHC has no reason to change unless they are forced to. Customer Satisfaction in the industry is abysmal because there’s no incentive for the companies to actually be good.
“But free market and competition!!!”
🖕
They had their underwriters run the numbers and they determined it’s more profitable to continue business as usual and just invest in private security for executives.
It is more profitable that the beatings continue.
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I don’t think you can pivot a 465 billion dollar company. Especially one where being unethical is a profit making feature.
They won’t fix themselves, hell why even reign it in if the system rewards bad behavior?
In Corey Doctorow’s short story (Radicalized, in the collection Radicalized) the health fund attackers typically used explosives against the entire board and their support staff
I wonder if that would be more effective
The simplest explanation is they literally can’t change, they’ve built this level of callousness into their DNA. It’s useful confirmation that for-profit health insurance is beyond saving.
they know that the publicity is temporary and does not matter because a corporation is not a democracy
CEO’s come and go and one just went
The ingredients you got bake the cake you get
So, if you get sick, cross your fingers for luck
‘Cause old Richard T. Burke ain’t givin’ a fuck
- Jesse Wells, United Health
What incentivize do they have? The vast majority of their customers have no choice but to be their customers. They just need to keep the companies that companies contract with to set up benefits happy. That’s a very small pool and most aren’t customers of theirs. And especially with the anti-regulation party coming into power, there’s no reason to fear government intervention. But even before that, it wasnt really a threat.
Well shoot, what can be done to fix this?
Your second word.
Let’s take aim at this problem
CEOs will be blown away by the answer.
Whatever idea we come up with is worth a shot
I’m not sure, but I bet someone is losing their mind over this problem!
Super Mario Bros 2025
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Bing, Bing, Wah-gunshots
Round two?
Yeah, every story like this plants a seed in someone’s mind to be the next Luigi. UHC executives are cultivating their own demise.
Wait! They got a new CEO?
GO! They got a new CEO!
What’s she gonna do, appeal?
That type of delay works for them just as well as any other.
Ai: “It is safe and profitable to deny this claim as she is unlikely to seek vengeance.”
AI forgot all the people who will seek vengeance for her, however…
Fuck this system, it’s absolute trash.
Always has been.
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How Many Times Do We Have to Teach You This Lesson, Old Man?
Brian Thompson didn’t learn shit he’s dead. And I doubt that Stephen J. Hemsley, the Executive Chairman of UnitedHealth Group and Brian Thompson’s co-defendent in an insider trading lawsuit, likely didn’t learn squat either but is currently still alive.
They believe it was a one off lone wolf. Unless they see a pattern there is little to be learnt.
READY PLAYER TWO
They could put out a story like this every minute of every day and never run out. Burn it all down indeed
And I’m here for it.
PLAYER 2 START
Player 2 has been trapped by Bowser inside the Koopa Dungeons, it’s Player 1’s turn.
Ready, Player 1?
Stephen Helmsley:
He was managing partner and chief financial officer at Arthur Andersen.
Super shocking that he was doing insider trading at UHC. They hired a known crook and paid him tens of millions a year.
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Tell me you didn’t go to law school without telling me you didn’t go to law school.
Edit - As American prisons are a form of institutional violence, your warning that posting Wikipedia links “could be in violation of Federal law” is in itself a call for violence against the original poster. You can self report to the gulags.
I like how property is the first thing listed.
Dial L for Luigi
Huh, guess a few more CEOs need to catch some bullets before things change. Mario Brothers, you know what to do!
