When I worked at a fair trade store we had these Palestinian olives that were so damn good. Every morning I’d open a jar for customers to sample, eat olives till I made myself sick, then do it again the next day. Good times.
A while back a dev invited users to test out his app in beta that gave recipe ideas based on your dietary preferences (back before everyone was doing it).
I told it I’m vegetarian, am lactose free (m’spouse is lactose intolerant), and gluten free (I’m not, but 23andMe told me to maybe cut back on gluten to avoid developing the celiac’s I’m at risk for/others in my family have).
The only food it came up with for me— for dinner— was “a handful of almonds.”
That phrase has become a running gag with friends and I whenever we’re hungry af, because I’ll never forget how hilarious of a dinner suggestion that was. It felt akin to my vegetarian experience of going to a stakehouse for my grandpa’s birthday and the waiter being understandably woefully unprepared for my dietary preferences.
Even now some recipe apps— when I look for gluten free stuff— I can tell it didn’t filter my results and instead just appended “gluten free” to ingredients that normally have gluten.
Which I get, but like… gluten free bread is gross/they haven’t mastered that at all.
gluten free bread is gross/they haven’t mastered that at all
Canyon Bakehouse has pretty decent bread, except the loaves grocery stores typically carry are woefully tiny. Like “for ants” tiny.
O’Doughs burger buns are decent, except two things:
- They don’t slice all the way through the bun when precutting, and
- They have poppy seeds on them
As for hotdog buns; well, all brand’s are shit and the people making them should feel really bad for the terrible job they’ve done. Seriously, they should feel nothing but shame.
Canyon is one of the best, but weirdly the Whole Foods store brand is really decent for their bread, waffles, and bagels and super cheap. Like matching normal bread cheap. I go to Whole Foods twice a month and buy pretty much only these items because my wife has Celiacs.
They make those disgusting hot dog buns and can’t even be bothered to split the tops. Then you open it and it immediately falls apart
I’m pretty sure that anyone making things labelled ‘hotdog buns’ instead of rolls isn’t paid enough to afford rent, let alone a sense of pride in their work.
OMG I would fucking destroy a handful of almonds right now.
Ironically I indeed have come around to eating them as a snack, which I never would’ve considered at the time.
(I was more about whatever high sodium crap triggered the dopamine at the convenience store nearby: chips, Chex mix, corn nuts, etc.)
You don’t develop celiacs. It’s an autoimmune disorder. You have it or you don’t.
There are unrelated gluten allergies, but celiacs is an illness
I went to bed laughing about this image. Woke up having forgotten it, just to see it again and start my day off laughing. This is peak memery, thank you
To be frank, I definitely did this as tome point and I’m pretty sure I actually did not regret it.
this seems like a after dinner thing for me, sit down have dinner, go grab some olives and watch tv
Usually these are supposed to be ironic, but I genuinely see nothing wrong with this.
It’s a healthier meal than 90% of stuff from the supermarket, maybe a bit high on the salt
Eat them out of a jar with your fingers?
What am I? A beast?
No. Chopsticks. I can eat far, far more olives if I preserve the integrity of my fingers.
This works with Maraschino cherries, also. Helps you reach the bottom of the jar and keeps your fingers from turning red. Double bonus.
Said jar, by the way.
Also like, why are you getting your fingers in brine/ syrup that is going to stay in the jar? Thats gross.
Also, holup.
Are you just straight mackin’ Maraschino cherries?
…Yes?
It’s the dessert of champions.
Are we talking neon red “cherries” or Luxardo cherries? Cause I can respect one of those.
Neon, of course!
Am I the only aspiring tree frog in this thread? Nobody else enjoys putting olives on their fingers and waving menacingly?
I like this.
Dinner ✅
You gotta balance that out with some croutons. Like, a whole bag of croutons.
if i had to pick something to eat 30 or 40 of then olives would be in the top 5
Obviously you have to use your fingers, because you need to stick the olives on the ends of your fingers and wiggle your fingers around first before eating the olives.
THANK YOU. This is the way.
Am I not suppose to use my penis?
Not if you want it to stay extra virgin
👏
You win the internet for today.
if it needs to be green olives, get the stuffed ones. but black olives are fine.
one time I got home late from work and I had a jar of pickles and a box of cheap wine in the fridge, so i poured myself a cup and grabbed some pickles and ate that for dinner, then about an hour later I had to run to the toilet to barf out all the pink relish
Olives - the father
Olive tapenade - the son
Olive oil - the holy spiritWeird I thought pimento was the son.
That’s Protestant heresy!
I spent ten whole days in Jerusalem
Mmmm Jerusalem
Sweet Jerusalem
And all I ate was olives
Nothing but olives
Mountains of olives
It was a good ten days
I like olives
I like you too-The messiah
Dr. Nussbaum was right…
