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negativenull@piefed.world to ExMormon @lemmy.worldEnglish · 4 months ago

Utah Bans Eye Contact During Sex

theonion.com

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Utah Bans Eye Contact During Sex

theonion.com

negativenull@piefed.world to ExMormon @lemmy.worldEnglish · 4 months ago
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SALT LAKE CITY—With top lawmakers championing the measure as a restoration of Christian values currently under attack in mainstream America, the Utah State Legislature passed a bill Monday that bans all eye contact during sex. “Looking directly into another person’s eyes while being physically intimate is a sick and unholy act,” said Utah Gov. Spencer Cox, […]
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  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Thank god, I was getting a crick in my neck.

  • Zachariah@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    What about during soaking?

    • SantasMagicalComfort@piefed.world
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      4 months ago

      Are you allowing to look at your buddy when they’re helping you jump hump?

      • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        only when praying.

    • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      That’s not sex as both their god and state have vision like a T rex

    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      best alternative name of soaking I ever heard was “Mormon tantric sex”, and it’s true.

  • hodgepodgin@lemmy.zip
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    4 months ago

    shouldn’t be a problem for me, because

    a) I don’t live in Utah

    b) I don’t make eye contact with people

    c) I don’t have sex

  • SpacePanda@mander.xyz
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    4 months ago

    Lmao I thought this was real for a second

  • gdog05@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    From gay anonymous rest stop sex to Utah law. This tracks.

  • Korhaka@sopuli.xyz
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    4 months ago

    Well yeah, how is she going to make eye contact at that angle?

  • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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    4 months ago

    so doggy style, mostly.

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