Two-thirds of straight women and one-third of straight men are unwilling to date a bisexual person of the opposite sex, according to a YouGov poll published today, during Bisexuality Visibility Week. The poll illustrates how lingering stereotypes negatively affect people’s impressions of bisexual individuals.
The poll — which surveyed 5,983 Britons during late March, including 2,031 straight women and 1,517 straight men — found that 48% of all respondents had positive views of bisexual people and only 8% had negative views. The remaining percentage had neither a positive nor a negative view of bisexuals.
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When the survey asked straight women and men why they were unwilling to date a bisexual person of the opposite sex, most (16% and 19%, respectively) said they “just don’t” or claimed, “It’s just a preference.”
A nearly similar portion, 17% of straight women and 16% of straight men, said they felt like bi people are more inclined to cheat, or that they themselves would feel insecure that they’d be unable to provide a bi partner whatever they get from a same-sex partner.
Interestingly, 9% of straight women said they feel disgust or discomfort towards men with same-sex experiences, 8% worried about possible sexual health risks, and 10% of straight men said they considered bisexuality to be either religiously or morally “wrong.” Approximately 12-13% of all straight respondents said they just wanted their dating partner to be heterosexual.
People saying it’s some male fetish thing also fall for the “girls and boys are entirely new species” idea a bit.
Women are people too. Women make up 47% of gay porn watchers. It’s normal.
Real reason is likely something else. Should probably ask cis, hetero women instead of speculating.
When I was at my university’s last year I had a FWB relation with a woman from my class.
One day I was venting about my lack of success on online dating apps and asked her to review my profile.
After reviewing it she said “You should remove that you’re bi, it is not serious”, like I wasn’t looking for a proper relationship.
I had it in my profile for starters after people matching with me and later rejecting when they learned I was Bi.
I think one of the contributing factors must be the deeply ingrained traditional relationship roles reinforced by culture.
Men often care more about “proxy” contacts (i.e. “my girl fucked with another man some time in the past, ew”), which is how we got so much virginity culture and all the unscientific bullshit around past contacts of women. They are also often easier to feel sexual about any given woman, and many want, secretly or openly, to have sex with many, either genuinely or as an internalized proof of superior masculinity.
Combine the two and you may get one of the answers. Some men enjoy having sex with their girl partner knowing she had engaged in it with other girls, that fuels their fantasies based on that “proxy sex” with other women, and there may also be fantasies about this arrangement turning into threesome.
At the same time, women are traditionally taught to laser-focus on a partner and keep them laser-focused on them, and so bisexuality feels like a man’s excuse to slip from these norms and claim it’s not the same. It’s also fueled by misconception that bisexual people necessarily need partners of both genders at the same time instead of them just having a larger pool to choose from.
I am not surprised.
The narrative that women are less homophobic than men never made any sense to me, because why would they?
That claim always - to me - seemed to be stereotyping women into sacred princesses who shit rainbows and fart breeze.
The overall observation that men are more homophobic than women is pretty established (source below). I believe what is happening here is that the overall lower attitude towards gay men compared to lesbian women is overshadowing the gender difference in overall homophobia.
Since its about heterosexuals, the study is only looking at
Women -> bi men & Men -> bi woman,
so even though women might be less hatefull overall, this is overshadowed by societies’ dislike of men who deviate from gender norms. Alternatively, being bi is less of a gender norm violation for women than it is for men (see last to sentences below).
Gender difference homophobia: Overview article (Godø et al, 2025):
Furthermore, studies have shown that on average, men tend to express more negative attitudes toward LGBT people compared to women (Cotton- Huston & Waite, 2000; Nagoshi et al., 2008). The cause of this gender difference may have various explanations. One potential explanation lies with the social construct of masculinity. Traditional masculinity is often associated with toughness, aggression, and dominance, and this may lead to men perceiving LGBT people as a threat to their own masculinity or power (Theodore & Basow, 2000). This resembles much of what is known as machismo, a culturally shaped and maintained belief in Latinx groups, con- sisting of both hypermasculine characteristics and familial responsibility (Hirai et al., 2014). Such beliefs may result in discomfort and hostility toward those who do not conform to traditional gender roles (Goodman & Moradi, 2008). This may also be connected to the fact that young men are often socialized to be more tough and competitive, while young women are encour- aged to be nurturing and empathetic. This can result in different attitudes toward LGBT people, with men being more likely to view it as deviant or abnormal. However, no single factor seems to be the cause of this gender difference; rather, it is a combined result of gender norms, socialization, and cultural beliefs.
Alternatively, being bi is less of a gender norm violation for women than it is for men
The other way around? More women express negative attitude toward Bi people than men?
studies have shown that on average, men tend to express more negative attitudes toward LGBT people compared to women
There is one more alternative explanation. Studies in question were shaped in a way that didn’t record women negative attitudes.
1.) “for women [who are bi, perceived by whomever]”. It’s quite tricky to talk about this correctly, because we are talking about gender differences relating both to perceivers and the perceived. I didn’t phrase that clearly.
2.) what you you mean with “shaped in a way that didn’t record women’s negative attitudes”? I don’t quite get that. That the items are phrased in a way that women just have a harder time agreeing, no matter what it is about?
From the current study the topic is about, we can see that there is a subset of LGBT people that women have more often negative view than men.
This stand in contrast with previous studies you shared.
That means either this new finding augments the older notion about attitudes split across genders (men have on average more negative attitude toward LGBT+ people, but something changed and now for Bi it’s women who are negativity forerunners), or how the old study was performed was inadequate to capture women negative attitude towards bi people since then, e.g. the study didn’t check unwillingness to date bi people.
(Then being 2000 and 2008)
Edit: actually, now that I’ve read the 2000 and 2008 study - performed on undergrads I call both of those studies worthless. WEIRD bias is a thing.
For women to perform, not in women’s views. I.e. being a bi woman is less of a violation of the idea of womanhood than being a bi man is manhood.
probably because of porn tropes thats why.
While it says only Britons participated in the online poll, IIRC this trend persists in the US. That said, It’s frustrated by recent alignment of social cleavages through extreme cultural polarization on top of the ongoing crisis of sexual violence by straight men. The favored explanation I recall pertained to fear of STIs and bisexual men being presumed gay in straight culture, but that may be an obsolete theory today.
Personally I had good experiences dating bisexual men, but I was never straight
am a straight cis old guy, gf is bi (she had a gf before me). I’ve encouraged her to go explore with other women but she said no, we have together in the past but I said by herself is ok with me. I’m old enough now that I don’t want her going to her grave wishing she had. She has a few gay friends and said shes never had any issues letting them know she’s bi.
I’d also be happy to explore a poly relationship but that does seem like a lot of work :)
It’s nice when the trash sorts itself though.
This is especially interesting when you consider that a lot of people are on the bi spectrum. Straights who think gays can “choose” to be straight? Mkay, keep telling us how you’re choosing to ignore that your gay desires.
This is probably one of the reasons for that. If you’re 90% hetero why “taint” yourself by experimenting if that’s going to limit your dating pool for the gender you’re more interested in.
What they worried they’re gonna cheat on them or something? A straight guy could do that too
My friend’s bi wife said that she had trouble explaining to an ex boyfriend that at some point she’s gonna want to have a side chick because she wants both flavours
So I suspect there’s a modicum of truth in some bi people needing more than one partner, which in a monogamous relationship is a no-go usually
At the same time, there’s so much cheating going on everywhere and I don’t think there’s any correlation between that and sexuality
Some bisexual people are poly and some are mono. Some straight people are poly and some are mono. It has nothing to do with their sexual orientation.
I never understood the bi hate. Even before I ever met a bi person, it seemed easy to understand - they’re sexually attracted to either gender. Whether or not someone is a cheater type is completely separate and has nothing to do with it.
I think some people see cheating as not an attribute of the cheater, but rather an attribute of the person they cheat with. As in, they think that anyone would cheat if a sufficiently attractive person came along. And thus for bi people the chance is twice as high.
On the other hand, if you managed to get in a relationship with a bi person, shouldn’t you feel doubly confident, since you were chosen from twice as large a pool?
Eh, I don’t get it either
Maybe its insecurity wrapoed uo with thinking sex is the main driver in a relationship, and thinking a partner could have twice as many options that aren’t you makes them feel even worse. I dunno.
“thinking sex is the main driver in a relationship” Yeah, this belief is too widespread. I feel for ace folks. And for aro folks too, since the same take is often made about romantic love. (Disclaimer: I’m neither.)
There are many potential driving factors in relationships. Can be sex, can be romantic love, can be another kind of love, can be trust, etc. Also, friendship is a perfectly valid kind of relationship too.
It can also be harmful things in the case of toxic relationship. Example: being convinced one’s partner will cheat because they’re bi. But as such relationships mostly bring harm, they’re best avoided. (Not easy because of psychological control/domination mechanics.)
sex is the main driver in a relationship
Is it?
Sex can be the main driver in a relationship, but generally isn’t. In my experience, we spend less than an hour getting down, and the rest of the day doing other stuff while relating.
But I’ve been in, and seen others in booty-call relationships where their parter comes over to fool around and then leaves once everyone is satisfied, usually after a light snack or a smoke.
No
For real. It’s like saying people who like all hair colours are gonna cheat because their partner has only one hair colour. It’s just not how that works.
—A poly bi woman
I like all genders and all body types and skin/hair colors. Never cheated.
Where’s my parade?
If only Neo could have seen Morpheus in his early days.
(Joke comment.) If I count facial hair, I have several hair colours. I won’t be cheted on by my partn… oh, I’m the bi poly one in the couple, and she only has one colour. (Or two, because of our age.) Shit I’m essetially condemned to cheat on her with a rainbow wig. (End of the joke.)
Yeah, and strangely none among the cheaters and the cheating apologists I personnally know claimed to be anything other than mono cishet. Strange (sarcasm) how direspectful and harmful behaviour linked to an expression of power are most seem in the dominant group.
@velma Were do the biphobic stereotypes come from ?
Why, even ?
I guess that, like most if not all discriminations, it stems from domination and exploitation systems. But are there other explanations ?Anyway, the stereotypes are so dumb.
Why would bi women accept a FFM threesome just ot please a man ? They are people too, not sextoys.
Why would bi men be born cheaters ?
Why would a bi person’s sexual orientation be defined only by their current partner’s perceived gender ?(BTW i’m bi, poly, and mostly a man, but in an mono relationship with a woman. There’s no risk of me cheating on her.)
I’m a straight woman who very briefly dated a bi guy. I never cared. It felt like none of my business who he had been with before me. He was an absolute sweetheart, and I miss him dearly.
@lonefighter @velma
“It felt like none of my business who he had been with before me.”
True, that’s private stuff. Only parts of it that may be important to share are those that will objectively impact the relationship. (Stalker ex, for example.)Also to add for others, being bi does not mean having a sexual history with partners of at least two genders. It does not even mean having any sexual history at all.
I felt compelled to add this to account for bi erasure.
Really salient points, thank you!
What happen to him?
I was dealing with some mental health struggles and really horrible life events and he tried to be there for me but I ended up inadvertently taking things out on him and he quite justifiably ended things. I apologized, he forgave me, we still text every few months and are on friendly terms, but that bridge is burned forever and I’m still low key heartbroken about it because he is a good dude.
Sorry to hear that, was just glad to know he still with us.
Having a friend like that is a blessing.
Straight guy here from /all. Unfortunately, a big chunk of my cohort will have responded favorably because they are dreaming of a female partner that will gift them a threesome.
When they get active about it, it’s called unicorn hunting since women who are willing to threesome with a couple (or more exactly, with you and your partner) are rare like a unicorn.
My ex-wife of twelve years is bi, but also strictly monogamous, and certainly not interested in threesomes.
And they, too, are engaging in biphobia with that logic.
Not sure that’s how a “phobia” works.
Sociology concepts named “something-phobia” are not the same thing as the similarly named concepts (classified in the “phobia” family) in psychology and psychatry.
Usually, meaning can vary with context. The discussed field in such a context.
So what you’re saying is that enough people couldn’t care less for the actual meaning of the word that we’re all now supposed to accept it. Gotcha.
Almost like languages change over time, amiright?
Doth thou jest with me?
If someone meant something in particular by the words they used, your preference for different word definitions/usage does not change what they meant. So yeah, accepting that people mean what they mean is good, because the options are just understanding or not understanding.
Well yeah, that’s how semantic drift happens and it only seems weird because you’re thinking about it,so much of the core of our language exists because of historic examples just like this.
Except that this is not some new meaning or word. It’s just misuse.
“Chocolatine”, “pain au chocalat”, “croissant au chocolat”, ou “petit pain”? Is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable?
Your interventions on the topic of biphobia are as valuable as these pseudo-debates. Keep your language normative freezing for your own expression, instead of policing the language of other people, and diverting from the heart of the discussed topic (again, biphobia).
Those are not pseudo debates, they all have definitive answers.
Your submission in “Most straight women don’t want to date bi guys, but most straight men are open to bi women” was removed for Shit-stirring.
Bi-phobia encompasses negative attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours towards bisexual individuals. It manifests in various forms, including erasure of bisexuality, stereotyping, harassment, and exclusion. This prejudice often stems from misconceptions and societal stigmas surrounding non-monosexual orientations.
Exactly, negative attitudes. Being polyamorous, liking threesomes or being promiscuous is not a negative thing, it’s just a preference. Hence why this is just simple prejudice, not “biphobia”.
Encompasses negative attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors towards bisexual individuals.
encompass verb
1 : to include as a part of a whole or group
It’s biphobic to assume that bisexual women all want threesomes.
We can debate about if there’s a better word for leaning into harmful stereotypes of bisexual people, but the closest term we have currently is biphobia.
It’s biphobic to assume that bisexual women all want threesomes.
would downvote if i could. potustheplant didn’t say that “all women want threesomes”, only that some men hope that some women want threesomes.
His argument is that it isn’t biphobia to assume bisexual women want threesomes because “phobia” means fear of.
Those men are being biphobic if they are dating a bisexual person with the express interest of them being a sex doll willing to do threesomes with them because of their sexual orientation.
Those men in the example are also misogynistic at the same time.
Nothing surprising, since different kinds of scorns, hates, discriminations, etc often come together.
According to some of these comments, it’s not discriminatory as long as it’s a man desiring his partner to perform threesomes because it’s positive discrimination or some shit like that.
That’s stereotyping or prejudice. Phobia (in its origin) means fear or dread. Maybe prejudice too but specifically in a negative way (no, prejudice doesn’t always have a negative connotation).
Biphobia (monosexism) refers to stigma, prejudice, and discrimination toward those who are bisexual
If prejudice doesn’t always have a negative connotation, then the assumption that all bisexual women are into threesomes still falls under ‘biphobia’.
When referring to phobia yes, it does have a negative connotation. Use it however you want I guess. People misuse words all the time.
When does a use different from the most ancient one stop being called a “misuse”? Especially talking about not a word, but its etymology?
Pretty sure a significant quantity of the words you use were at some point described as “misuses”, “mistakes”, or something similar.
I say that as someone who hates seeing/hearing scandals be called “<something>gate” in reference to Nixon’s Watergate scandal. Same with"<something>ception" in reference to the movie Inception. So I understand the feeling, but this kind of take mostly contribute to elitism.
What matters most in any language is the ability to communicate, not the conformity to a (potentially idealised) static snapshot of the language rules.
Word meanings also evolve over time and usage. They’re not static.
I thought the whole point of this last decade+ is that people should take what they can get.
Oh wait, I forgot about the homophobic propaganda.
would downvote if i could. there’s no evidence that “homophobic propaganda” makes up for the people who don’t want a bi partner. i’m pretty sure that people can have their own opinions and feelings without having to attribute everything to propaganda.
Their personal preferences are rooted in homophobia whether they’re conscious of it or not if they refuse to date someone because of that person’s sexual orientation.
Bisexual people are not different from straight people in any meaningful sense when it comes to monogamous relationships.
