We met on a dating app, have had two great dates so far, and I’ve been unplugging while traveling on and off. While I am really glad he is making plans for a 3rd date (I first alluded to it when I texted him after my trip), I’m totally confused and wondering if I should ask why he potentially unmatched me on the app and the mixed signals. Are there red flags? Yellow flags? Or is he just trying to play hard to get a little and it’s fair because I’ve been unplugging intentionally during my time off? For full context, please see my previous post. Any insight and advice is appreciated because I am even more flummoxed now than before. Thanks!
Removed by mod
I agree. After you’ve seen each other a few times, no need to keep using an app, and if you want to keep seeing them, you don’t necessarily want to have a profile up.
Walk away is my advice after I read your previous post.
Just go on the date, check the vibes, and try not to be too anxious.
Its normal to be nervous when you think you might have something. But don’t let it get in the way.
Are you confused?
Or do you know exactly what to do but don’t want to admit it
Probably both. And in your pov I know that I shouldn’t invest in him and I’m in denial? This sucks. I just got these bad cramps and already said yes to meeting today and afraid I’ll regret cancelling last minute since he might walk away then
You know it’s not right but your fear is clouding your judgment.
Aren’t you tired of losers who don’t love you right?
Two different questions are tangled here and only one of them has an answer.
“Why did your profile disappear” is a fact question. He can answer it in a sentence.
“Did you lose interest because I was off traveling” is a verdict question. No sentence from him settles it. Whatever he says, you will read it as reassurance or as proof.
Most of this thread is guessing at his head because the second question has no answer anyone can hand you. Ask the fact one, once. Then watch what you do with the answer. If it calms you for a day and the question comes back, it was never about him.
If what you actually want is the message to send him, say so and I’ll write it.
Seems like the guy have moved on
I’m just posting to say why tf ppl are downvoting this post? This is a legit post that someone is writing that isn’t somehow garbage.
Person is legit just asking for advice FFS. Why tf are you ppl downvoting?
Because its the wrong community and the person is asking for what someone means when likely none of us know either of them. They need to nut up and ask the person directly.
Which community would be better?
I would say just ask him, but after reading all your other posts (assuming this is the same guy) id say keep looking
if you’re curious about why someone did a thing, ask that person directly.
The general internet will not know any facts, and will only assume everything based on their experiences, and echo chambers they like to visit all the time…
Yeah, we’re gonna need some facts for those capitalist claims, bud.
The best advice you’ll get! Always go to the source!
At worst, he gives you a cagey answer, and then you have information about how this person handles direct questions.
At best, he gives you an understandable answer and you grow closer as a result!
Generally speaking, think about forming your statements as “When you said/did X, I felt Y”. This is sometimes called “telling your own story”. Example…
“You were being evasive!”
Vs.
“When you went off the dating app, The story I made up about it is that you were trying to avoid me”.
Even if it doesn’t work out this is always great practice for life. Best of luck!
