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You couldn’t make Gone With the Wind today because everyone in it has died
Technically Correct
Everyone?
Rip!
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Any movie where 1 cell phone would resolve the situation. A lot of serial camper killers would get shut down pretty fast.
Just put the camp outside of cell service. Plenty of camping in the mountains outside of cell service.
Still fully believable
The newer phones have satellite SOS features.
That’s not at all common yet though, it’s pretty much a gimmick in a few select phones.
Logical solutions to problems don’t happen in many kinds of horror movies. Even the tiniest bit of common sense applied would destroy so many, cell phones or no.
Our group of teenagers should definitely split up to search for the monster and/or serial killer!
Rather than making a swift exit to anywhere else, we should instead hide in this building where we think the killer is
Oh my god! It’s the killers childhood home where he brutally killed one of his family members in each room! Let’s hide in there, but we should each find a hiding spot in a different room.
What if we kissed on the infanticide balcony
That’s why I love Cabin in the woods. They make it a creepy movie, but also make fun of all the common horror tropes by having the haunted grounds be a very orchestrated event.
“Oh no my cell phone doesn’t work” It’s because the creepy org turned on a cell phone jammer
“Why don’t they just leave?” The creepy org blows up a shit load of tnt to make the tunnel collapse
“Why don’t they find an alternate route out?” The creepy org put a fucking force field around the area.
That movie definitely ventured in to silly territory, but then it was quite directly a well-meaning parody of horror movies that kinda’ HAD to get a bit silly to do too much with the premise.
It would be kinda funny for someone to make something that starts as a horror movie but then everyone acts in a sensible manner without contrived reasons for their efforts failing, resulting in the whole dangerous situation falling apart over the course of the plot until its more a sort of parody of horror movies than a proper example.
There are also a swath of movies that couldn’t be made because of the ubiquity of surveillance cameras.
Who did it!?! ~Checks camera~
Jesus Christ it’s Jason Bourne
Not just cellphones but every house now is equipped with a camera on the doorbell and possibly several more throughout the house. Back in the day serial killers basically just had to not be around when the police showed up and had a pretty good chance of just getting away
You couldn’t make Blazing Saddles today because Westerns aren’t nearly as popular as they once were, and so it’ll be harder for jokes to land
What in the wide, wide world of sports is that supposed to mean?
Also Gene Wilder hasn’t done anything for 8 years
You wouldn’t make “Back To The Future” now because it wouldn’t be the future…
BTTF remake, traveling between 2025, 1995, and 2055, with new problems for those particular times? Marty introduces dubstep to the grunge crowd? Accidentally prevents the spread of the Internet?
The first movie doesn’t even go to the future, and they say ‘back to the future’ to mean returning to 1985.
Forward to the past?
You couldn’t make Blazing Saddles these days. They’d take one look at the script and go
spoiler
“We can’t make this, this is Blazing Saddles, they made it 40 years ago. Do you want Mel Brooks to sue us?”
Love watching this movie on network TV.
They leave in all the N-words and censor the farts.
Funny story Mel Brooks actually did an animated version of Blazing Saddles called The Legend of Hank to prove that he absolutely could make it today.
It’s basically the same concept but with samurai instead of cowboys.
“Ain’t no business like shogun business.”
Huh. TIL.
Though the actual argument for why you couldn’t make Blazing Saddles now is the the entire genre it’s lampooning is dead.
The humor is pretty much still fine and flies, other than Mel playing a Native American, but even that is still kinda-maybe-sorta-okayish-maybe? since Mel’s character isn’t the butt of the joke, but other than that brief scene I can’t recall anything that watching now makes me cringe.
You couldn’t make Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone now because you’re not Warner Brothers and don’t own the copyright.
You couldn’t make Jaws today because the ubiquity of cheap drones means the shark would be tracked continuously until it left Amity Island.
I have to disagree. The shark spends the vast majority of its time underwater, not within viewing distance. And they didn’t tag it with any tracker.
Could they tag it with a tracker these days? Absolutely. But none of the individuals on board the Orca would likely have been funded for that, even including Hooper. He was a rich boy, but how rich could he have been if he’s hiring Quint instead of a proper crew on a research vessel?
I mean, you could totally make Home Alone II today as long as you set it pre-9/11, so I take this to mean “these movies that were set in the ‘present day’ could not be redone and set in the ‘present day’ of 2024.”
You couldn’t make Back to the Future because 21st century streets are no place for minors on skateboards.
You couldn’t make American Beauty for a LOT of reasons (including prevalence of digital video, marijuana legalization, increased public awareness/concern about pedophilia, etc)
You couldn’t make Clueless because shopping malls are dead (or at least nowhere near as cool as they used to be)
You couldn’t make Trainspotting or Requiem for a Dream because heroin and cocaine are quaint drugs by 2020s standards
You couldn’t make Paris is Burning because Harlem gentrified big time (I know this is a documentary but still)
You couldn’t make The Matrix because no one would believe human batteries would be happy and content living in a simulation of 2024 (also no telephone booths)
I almost said The Truman Show because we basically live in that world already but fuck it, I wanna see a 2024 version where the producers have to keep desperately introducing crazier plot developments to try and compete for a TikTok-addicted audience unamused by “just another reality TV show”, and constant set issues like cast members getting fired right and left for sneaking smartphones onto set.
I mean, you could totally make Home Alone II today as long as you set it pre-9/11
Yeah, it’s like saying “you couldn’t make Saving Private Ryan, because Europe is no longer at war”.
I think you’re absolutely correct, but I think the difference between “Home alone today” vs “Save private Ryan today” is, that when thinking about home alone, because the story is essentially time/context agnostic, they might imagine in being today, but in the save private Ryan it is specifically refering to 2nd world war, so noone would think about it being placed in today’s world But yeah, I agree with you. I could totally imagine a big movie creator lobbying government(s) to hamper war-ending efforts, so they can film there authentically, if it was easier than to do it in a studio
Saving Private Ivan
You couldn’t make Back to the Future because 21st century streets are no place for minors on skateboards.
Delete this misinformation.
I wish we lived in a world where I could
They couldn’t make Mrs Doubtfire in this day & age - no one would believe Pierce Brosnan and Sally Field make enough money to afford a live-in nanny.
Also, they couldn’t make Mrs. Doubtfire 2. Full stop. There will never be a sequel to that magnificent gem.
I thought Pierce Brosnan’s character was some sort of rich guy. I forget what Sally Field did.
And then there’s the whole drag thing.
I wanna see a modern Zombie movie with how people would actually react to news of a zombie outbreak given how people behaved during the pandemic
Zombies ain’t rea…OH GOD ITS EATING MY FACE…still don’t believe it, he’s just on drugs.
Avenue 5 has a pretty funny scene where a series of skeptical conspiracy theorist types are ignoring a very specific warning, claiming that the people they see dying before their very eyes are an illusion some kind of special effects and each follows to their own death.
28 Days Later had a dinnertable conversation that was exsctly like how people were talking during covid.
Isn’t that the “… but then it wasn’t in news reports anymore; it was in our back yards, and coming in the windows…” monologue? Excellent scene.
As written and performed by Simon Pegg.
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Half the population claims it’s all a hoax and lets zombies bite them because anything else is a violation of their freedoms
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Large swaths of gun owners take to the streets, and half of them die quickly because they put more money into the number of guns they had or making them tacticool instead of putting rounds through them or sighting them in.
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It gets overly politicized.
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The literal collapse of civilization, yet some corners of the government and billionaires are still trying to milk out the last drop of money
Don’t look up was basically this but a meteor instead of zombies. It was honestly kind of a depressing movie lol
What’s crazy is that they made the movie before the pandemic, but it was almost a parody of the trump administration and the response to covid.
Well, It also works as a nice allegory for climate catastrophe.
That’s what it was written as.
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That’s slightly political.
You couldn’t make Home Alone 2: Lost in New York today because Macaulay Culkin is an adult now and nobody wants to see a grown man playing a young child.
Heathers.
Revenge of the Nerds.
You couldn’t make Casablanca today because that movie already exists.
I mean, technically you could still make it though… it likely wouldn’t sell any copies, but then again look at Skibidi, or better yet, don’t:-D.
You couldn’t make Deadpool & Wolverine today because it just came out and people would not be ready for a reboot this early.
You couldn’t make any movie today, because you probably arent someone that knows how to make movies, and has the relevant equipment and team of actors on hand, and even if you do or try to get by with the sub-par equipment on like your phone camera or something, one day just isnt enough time to make a whole movie in.
