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As a libertarian I would advocate selling liquor to all babies who want it.
Man, I miss the “As a libertarian” guy on reddit. Dude would start every comment like that before saying something insane.
Hilariously redundant.
Praximis_Prime_ARG iirc, the best part was that they’d include a link to a libertarian actually saying that exact thing.
Yeah!!! That’s the guy. He’s used multiple accounts over the years. Dude was funny as hell.
Omg you guys are taking me back. Fucking loved this guy. Best bit ever
As a libertarian, I’d also still comment on Reddit.
As a libertarian I would advocate selling liquor to all babies who can afford it.
FTFY
If they want it enough they’ll get a good enough job to afford it so that’s redundant.
Don’t waste my fucking time, baby beer.
As a 19th century physician I can only agree, and suggest pairing it with a spoonful of soothing cocaine syrup for maximum efficacy.
Liar, you’re not a 19th century quack. Mine prescribed tincture of laudanum
Nonsense! Can you look at how that kid’s bouncing off the walls and honestly tell me that cocaine isn’t a healthy and energizing remedy?
(Yeah, I was trying to think of morphine but wrote cocaine because brain = dumb)
I mean they’re two lines away from each other (with cannabis in the middle) for doc duckerson’s miracle cough expressant, it’s an easy mistake to make
As a libertarian I would advocate selling
liquor to allbabies who want itIt’s got what babies crave
I mean, expecting libertarians to follow age of consent laws in any area is kind of foolish . . .
As a progressive with libertarian tendencies, I would add that alcoholic babies should also have access to rehab if they want it.
should also have access to rehab if they
want it.can afford it.Ftfy what kind of libertarian did you say you were
The kind that cares about individual liberty, not the “bUt WhO’s GoInG tO pAy FoR iT” kind.
The law, in its majestic equality, forbids rich and poor alike to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal their bread
I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.
“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”
“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.
“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.
“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.
“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
It didn’t seem like they did.
“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”
Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.
“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me.
Don’t be ridiculous. Babies can’t consent to treatment!
Objection! They believe that life starts at conception, but not that aging starts at conception! This is why people are not considered 9 months old at birth!
Conceptually, people can also be frozen at any age, which “pauses” or slows their aging (see: Captain America, Han Solo, Dave Lister)
that’s a good steelman. but this is why I think the better argument is Hasan’s usual hypothetical about this: there’s a fire in a hospital and you can only get into one of the rooms in time to save some people. do you go into NICU where you could save a couple babies or to the IVF section where you can save thousands of embryos?
This hypothetical is great as it forces them to admit born babies are more important than embryos, but it doesn’t prove embryos are not alive
it’s not about them being alive; embryos are alive, that’s not even disputed. it’s about whether the life is a person. if you think the babies are more important you’re already conceding the embryos don’t have personhood, or at least not to the degree that babies do.
either case they shouldn’t have the same rights as actual people. if you think an embryo is a person then you can’t choose the couple babies over so many people. or if you do it’s still going to be fun hearing you try to justify it without conceding.
Ooh yeah makes sense
In a fertility crisis with aging population (e.g as bad as upside down population pyramid) people might save the hundreds of embryos
theres no fertility crisis, its an economic crisis. greedy rich people are ruining the world and making existing unaffordable so no one can afford to have babies.
Like I tell a friend of mine who was premature: Do you want to celebrate your birthday today or in a couple months when you should have been born?
Didn’t give them any ideas lol
Your age is defined by your birth Thus your age before birth is negative. And an estimate. Quod erat ipsum dolor et maximus.
I struggle to parse the Latin. My first reading would be “That’s why it was pain and the greatest…”
What does the maximus refer to? Is it an attribute to dolor, and if so, what does the et refer to?
Or am I supposed to read it as an implied duplication or retroactive emphasis? “pain, the greatest (pain) even.”
Or is there something I’m missing between morning brain and rusted skills?
Or is it not actually sound Latin and I’m trying way harder than I should?
Let me help you a bit since you got morning brain
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Morbi ac ultricies ipsum, nec fermentum quam. Ut gravida nisl purus, et interdum risus porttitor a. Aenean euismod tellus ante, viverra fermentum tortor commodo a. Praesent lacus mauris, efficitur eget odio a, mollis fringilla eros. Orci varius natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Duis bibendum euismod mi id maximus. Vestibulum lacinia tincidunt sapien vel lobortis. Curabitur consectetur iaculis iaculis. Mauris tincidunt elit ac quam finibus, id dapibus leo sodales.
I suspected that, but couldn’t find the specific bit in the Lorem Ipsum text, nor in the original its fragments were lifted from, so I assumed it was a genuine quote or self-constructed sentence.
I’ll file it under “went way too hard on a throwaway blurb” then, thanks.
Freezing an adult would be murder.
not if they can be un-frozen
Right, that’s not a thing. So murder.
“Conceptually” makes a lot of heavy lifting, along with the fictional examples like Captain America
Conceptually
icwydt
Is Dave Lister an actual real life person? Or is it a fictional character like the others? Otherwise, they can’t be taken as examples. That’s like saying that oh yeah, a toddler can totally lift a car no problem… see Superman.
He’s an absolute smeghead.
If there was a fire and you only had time to save one of these, which would you save: a one-month old baby, or a flask containing 100 frozen human embryos.
Is the fire making me uncomfortable? I might just sit there saying “This is fine” until it’s too late to save either.
Or scout outside to make sure it is really safer than inside before discovering it’s too late to save either.
Or maybe flip the lever between the front wheels and back wheels going over the switch for some multi-track drifting–ah nm, that doesn’t work for this version of the trolly problem.
I respect your rejection of the premise.
For real though, I’d save a baby (or adult) seal before the 100 human embryos.
Can I just leave them both?
I don’t have kids and do you have any idea what one of those smoothies costs. I choose 100 horse sized human embryos
Who leaves their infant in an IVF clinic? If I walk out with the flask they’ll suspect me of arson. If I walk out with the baby, who knows. Call 911 and let the fire fighters save the rest of the buildings occupants.
If one one-month old baby and 100 embryos spontaneously combusted I’d assume the world was ending in flames. In that case, where humanity is on the line, I would save the embryos because we need to repopulate the earth after the fires extinguished. I’d probably trip though with the case and break all the embryos.
If we were to actually treat this as a moral dilemma, without external factors or trying to challenge the premise:
One of these is sentient. The other hundred are not. Much as my heart might bleed for the potential humans that will never be realised, my priority would be the living, feeling, crying one.
Actually, the crying might be an issue. I tend to be sensitive to some sounds, and particularly in a stressful situation, a wailing baby might be a detriment…
Still, I’m susceptible to emotional bias. I don’t like babies or small children, but I won’t pretend to be immune to the kind of protective reflex they tend to evoke in (sane) adults. So on top of the above reasoning, I would most likely save the baby, headache be damned.
And then I’d go and find whoever set up this cruel choice in the first place. Why would I be in such a clinic in the first place? Why would it catch on fire? Why does God hate us?
Why would I be in such a clinic in the first place?
You are visiting your partner at the their place of work, which happens to be a lab, with your newborn baby and an accident happens and a fire breaks out. /s
I believe I would save the baby simply because I can emotionally relate to it and not a flask with some frozen content.
their place of work
Home?
which happens to be a lab
I mean, it does house all my code experiments, so I guess it’s a lab. The sort filled with abominations begging to be relieved. “Delete me!” I can sometimes hear them cry if I open
~/Projectsand linger a little too long.with your newborn baby and an accident happens
If she carries a baby to term, there have been at least two accidents already, what’s one more?
Though I’d probably be saving her instead. Odds are the baby could crawl faster than her after pregnancy is done with her.
Shame about my PC though. I’ve got all the important stuff backed up, but there’s a few code projects I’ve been meaning to get back to some time…
I believe I would save the baby simply because I can emotionally relate to it and not a flask with some frozen content.
Yeah, I think that’s on the mark. I can’t in all honesty say I’d stand there rationally weighing the ethics of the situation and morality of the choices. The baby feels “more human” than the jar. It also probably has better chances of surviving the lack of refrigeration.
Though I’d probably be saving her instead. Odds are the baby could crawl faster than her after pregnancy is done with her.
Pregnancy sure does a number on the body!
Shame about my PC though. I’ve got all the important stuff backed up
You don’t happen to have a good off site backup solution to share?
I’ve got a Nextcloud storage at tab.digital, set up to sync with Nextcloud’s own client. It does the job just as well as Google Drive, but is hosted in Europe and not by a bloodsucking megacorp.
puts on devil’s advocate hat
No, because liquor laws don’t care about when life began. They care about date of birth. Life beginning at conception does not erase date of birth as a valid type of data.
removes hat because I’m not pro-life
We should not rely on “pro-lifers are too stupid to understand how to refute this” when deciding our views.
Can I have your hat? I eat them, they’re an acquired taste. Yours seems interdasting to my entrenchables
If you get a pro lifer giving this excuse comment about how “When life starts and age start are different.”. Then flip it into a gender vs sex being different and see where they go.
I read that cut-off sign as saying
“YAY!
IT’S
TRANSFEM”
and all I could think was “imagine knowing that early AND having supportive parents”
The baby’s 30 so it’s not that early /s
Will I sell booze to this baby? Absolutely.
Will I extend this baby booze on credit? Not in this economy.
I dunno, how big a baby?
Elon Musk sized.
I’ll fight the ducks please. That’s one brobdignagian baby.
What I really want to know: Is Abortionado pronounced like afficianado, and they are an expert in abortions? Or is it like Tornado, and they are a tornado of abortions?
I assumed the first one before reading your comment, probably because I am too feeble to imagine an abortion tornado on my own.
That’s okay I can help you imagine.
It’s very gooey.
Like I always say, abortionado, abortionado 🤷♂️
finally someone with the important questions
Well, for starters, I don’t think DOS would handle the amount of memory modern PCs use…
Don’t tell me what to let my baby do. Now excuse me but I’m taking little Babythan to the dog fights.
How is this confusing anyone? We count age from date of birth. Anything that happens before that has nothing to do with your legal age any more than whether you were carried for more or less than 9 months. This would only become interesting if someone froze a toddler for 30 years or something.
Yeah, seems like this might be a bad faith argument intended to cause more division. It’s a flimsy argument that people who like the point it’s trying to make might ignore that big thing that makes it fall apart while those against it won’t ignore that and will see the other side ignoring it as dishonest.
He can buy it, but maybe he should wait to drink it.
My rule is, if you are dead when brain dead with a beating heart then you are not alive until you are brain alive with a beating heart. Life starts with brain activity, around 16 weeks.
More like 32 years.
Never for some…
Waiting to be alive any day now
Oh, you mean I get to have some brain activity soon?
I go by the Jewish rule.
In the Old Testament, God breathed life into Adam, and thus he became a living soul.
So until the infant takes its first breath, it’s not an actual soul. It is a lump of tissue with potential.
I hope that there are as few abortions as are absolutely necessary, but I will not begrudge a single person their choice to have an abortion regardless of the stage of the pregnancy at which it happens.
it’s not an actual soul. It is a lump of tissue with potential.
It’s part of the mother according to Jewish law.
Is this one reason why Jewish doctors were historically the only ones okay with performing abortions?
Yes but abortion procedures are not unique to Jewish doctors. Egypt, China, India, Rome; all of them practiced abortions both medically induced and surgical.
Respiration still occurs through the umbilical. You shouldn’t use sky fairy tales for scientific bases.
Internal (diffusion of gases from the bloodstream into the tissues of the body) respiration =/=external respiration (diffusion of atmospheric gases through the alveolus into the bloodstream)
And respiration is only half of breathing, the other half being ventilation.
Don’t use science to put someone down when you don’t even understand what you’re talking about
We’re talking about abortion here.
My stance is it’s not murder until the infant has actually been alive outside of the womb for more than a nanosecond.
And by the way, fuck all the way off with your anti-religious bullshit. If you’re so triggered by the concept of a religious take on any topic whatsoever, you should just get the fuck off the internet because there’s dozens of us. You’re going to run into us.
Or, at the very least, learn to add something to the conversation in the middle of your edgelord bitch rant.
Logic is typically lost on the feeble-minded. I’m aware you are around us. Believe what you want, but it should play zero role in public policy.
It would seem turning the other cheek isn’t part of your religion.
Alas, that’s not the legal definition. Another reminder that legal is not necessarily ethical, and vice-versa.
Nathan, is that you?
PS: To anyone who hasn’t yet, I can highly recommend watching the TV show Nathan for you
Trees are alive without a brain. I think what you mean here is sentience
Bible says life begins at first breath.
Isnt it called birth day for a reason?
What if baby was born in Asia?
They…have days over there too.
No, how can the sun set on the land of the rising sun, China?
Asian countries will count the year a child was in the womb as part of their lifespan. A person who is 30 in America is 31 in China, for example.
But it’s also like year 12,000 or something in China, so they’re all much older in general and why they only have one babby now, because there country is so old.
That still wont make the baby in the post 30 years old because embryos arent frozen in the womb.
Has he been frozen inside a womb this whole time?
I’m not sure, sometimes they develop embryos to a certain stage and freeze them to implant later, sometimes it’s just the eggs.
They have Jello shots like that now, with nitrogen n stuff
whoosh, huh
In this thread: people who are going to lose our liquor sales licenses when we’re caught in a sting operation by an undecover cop baby.
Jokes on you: the kid can’t pay for liquor!
But you can sell the kid for liquor, therefore if you have kids you always have booze!
How fucked up is it to be of legal age, and have no benefits, as a Baby, because your life was literally put on hold while frozen.
The baby can legit be told to get a job, diagnosed with neurodevelopmental disorders, prescribed adult drugs.
Or am I reading this wrong?
All those legal obligations start at date of birth. I think that was the point of the post.
I mean the point is it doesn’t matter how old the embryo was, the baby was born in 2025. The baby’s only “old” on a technicality.
Much less extreme case, lots of people are born some weeks later than expected. They aren’t considered “older” than someone born on the same day but conceived later.
As long as the ID looks legit and the baby isn’t already visibly drunk, I’ve done my job.
I ain’t ever seen a sober baby look like they weren’t drunk. All uncoordinated and shit, can’t speak anything but incoherent babbling, shit all in their pants…
Ehh I’d just pour them a glass of water first. I need money.
