I LOVE these. Funnier the longer I think about them. Almost serious or useful then just completely out of left field.
A bird in the hand is worth two with one stone.
This was really funny in 2012 or so when it first made it’s rounds…
Yeah but we’re stoning the white elephant in the room with two birds while a cart-drawn horse is heading towards a burning bridge.
The road to hell is paved with hand-baskets.
I’ve definitely used the rocket surgery one
I think I’ve heard someone say the bridge burning one in person, but you could honestly mix up hearing that and the correct one because “we’ll cross” is “ületame” and “we’ll burn” is “põletame” in Estonian
One of my favourite ones in Bulgarian is “Око за око, паста за зъби”.
“Око за око” is “an eye for an eye” and “паста за зъби” is literally “paste for teeth” (or what we say for “toothpaste”).
The latter is technically not a saying or an idiom, but I think it still works. I believe I don’t need to explain the absurdity of it.
Haha that’s neat. An eye for an eye and paste for teeth!
Reminds me if the WH40k version:
Blood for the Blood God!
Skulls for the Skull Throne!
Milk for the Khorne Flakes!Khorne being said blood god on the skull throne.
From I Love Lucy… Ricky tried giving Lucy an ultimatum in his broken English…
“Don’t cross your bridges before your chickens have hatched!”Not the sharpest bulb in the crayon shed
Bob’s your oyster
Kill two cats with one bag
Bring out your dead!
But I feel fine… I wanna go for a walk.
People who live in glass houses sink ships.
Someone who lives in a white house shouldn’t sink ships.
Someone who lives on a ship should sink the white house.
Make like a tree and get the fuck outta my bar!
A rhyming spin on that…
Stoned people with loose lips sink glass ships.
My favorite is, “Why don’t you make like a tree and go fuck yourself?”
i love a softer world! wish there were a community for it
I’m gonna OD on nostalgia from this
This one’s really good since some trees can self-pollinate.
Is that why some family trees are so linear?
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
That’s some Groucho Marx style shit.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
An old friend always said “time flies like fruit flies like a banana.”
I’ve always preferred this version because of the flow, and because it makes you think a little more before it clicks.
You just made me dylexic I read melons, then when i read dyslexic i go back to read again and i read lemons but wait, wasn’t it melons? So I read again and it’s melons 😭
I guess I spawned a cognitohazard xD
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Those who dig a pit for others, shouldn’t throw rocks.
“She looks like she’s been through the run of the mill…”
There’s no use crying over fish in the sea.
Much fun, but IMO “we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it” is a perfectly valid maxim (yes I’m aware of its roots). YMMV.
