What do you mean zero cleanup? Now I have to carry around a banana peel all day. All hail apples (yes, I eat the core).
They tend to go extinct every so often and need a different variety to replace them.
Look up the history of the banana trade.
The monopoly that supplies most bananas to the “western” world has long been known to be a murderous corrupt corp? That’s the one major drawback to that chewy sweet banana fiber.
One single plant, cloned thousands of times. Easily devastated by disease.
If you live in a northern climate, you have to rely on a very complicated and expensive delivery system that will supply you with this fruit that can only be grown in the tropics. And the only way to keep it economical is to create an economy where food prices are artificially kept low because first world countries systematically suppress developing countries that grow bananas into becoming stable economies that would actually provide better wages for farmers and workers who would raise the price of bananas.
We have cheap bananas because we don’t mind living in a world where we abuse farmers and workers to work for pennies to supply us in the first world with cheap bananas.
And just to rub salt into the wound, someone created a clothing store named after the political corruption imposed on those countries to accomplish this: Banana Republic.
I can’t think of what an equivalent would be in terms of offensive marketing, Starving Irish brand potatoes? A Saudi demolition company named after September 11th? A clothing store inspired by antebellum southern US clothes? I guess some companies still use imagery of indigenous people for tobacco products. That seems like it’s in the same vein.
Generally, I try to focus on how beautiful life can be, but damn if there isn’t a crowd trying to make it ugly for others.
Twin Towers wholesale outlet: our prices are coming down fast!
Pearl harbor casual clothing.
Jim crows bar and grill.
That last one is just something that could’ve realistically existed.
…and would continue to exist, unaltered, well up until the 70s when, finally, it was modified due to growing public awareness; and only because of that.
Sambo’s managed to barely survive until 2020.
Our prices are falling from our hot deals but fret not: the melting point of steel… 🤔
“Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams” was probably a gateway drug for so many of the crazies today
I’ve always assumed I misunderstood the brands name but no one has corrected you yet…
To the rabbit hole!
Ok I’m back, it’s just ignorant assholes all the way down
Well that didn’t take very long… Disturbing how quickly you were able to discern it was all assholes all the way down.
I think they just peered over the edge and were convinced when they saw sphincter after sphincter.
Oo°•.
Always has been 🔫
Wow, thanks for doing the research! Did you find anything especially interesting?
Well I think I just realised why they do it. There’s this longstanding conspiracy theory that whenever a politician does a fuckup they conveniently say keywords associated with the fuckup but put it in a different context (like say, scandal related to trains, so they get into a model train hobby), and they pay advertisers to market that changed context HARD, so if people search up their name plus trains what shows up are articles talking about their new hobby.
Just thought of this because I was searching up “Banana Republic” in the context of neocolonialism (while reading my country’s history) and besides the Wikipedia page being the first result, the next results were that store. And I remembered this reply.
I had never heard of that tactic. Thanks for sharing. I’ll be looking for IRL examples now.
Nixon should have started a hobby in hydraulic engineering specializing in the design and production of water gates, specifically for the Potomac River, including one near that hotel/office/apartment complex that’s name I forget.
i’m stealing the demolition company named around september 11th idea, that’s actually funny as fuck
If our competition raises prices! … We’ll bring them down!!!
This is why bananas are cheaper in the UK than in Brazil
So they can feed disease too? Is there anything bananas can’t do?
Rebound from a viral pandemic, RIP Gros Michel
Only heard about those via my dad, never got to try one…
They aren’t extinct, they just aren’t commercially viable to grow on large scales any more. A few isolated pockets of the trees survived the blight. A quick web search will turn up someone selling some if you really want to try them but like the other poster said if you’ve tried fake banana flavor you’ve tried gros michel.
That’s a myth about the flavour. Although TIL they do smell strongly like artificial banana flavour.
if you’ve ever had banana laffy taffy you’ve had the artificially created flavor of one.
And I find it preferable to the real thing
or banana jelly beans.
You can order them from Hawaii (or maybe you have to physically be there).
It’s just no longer worth mass producing and shipping any more due to the potential to lose your entire crop.
That’s only the Cavendish, there are other varieties of banana. I was recently in Hawai’i and got to try an Apple Banana that had been grown there.
In Southeast Asia we have lots of banana varieties that we regularly eat.
Picked by slaves.
thousands
Millions at least,
just like the previous, gros michael, the cavendish is susceptible to a fungal/bacterial disease. Wild type are pratically resistant, or a different species. but they often have that unslightly seeds.
also WATERMelons, figs, oranges.
all the seeded varieties can hybridize, or can cross pollinate with other plants. oranges, often have to use the wild “trifoliate” orange to grow better by grafting onto it. the trifoliate is pretty unique as its very hardy and cold tolerant, also possess defensive spines.
Banana smell is so powerful if you leave a banana in the fridge over night any unprotected food will taste like a banana
History of banana and why it’s cheap.
Bad thing: banana Republic. Other than that… 100% legit.
Do the 16p and 14p bananas taste better than the 13p bananas?
Oh, these aren’t meant to be eaten. They’re ‘for scale’ bananas and the price is based on manufacturing accuracy.
It’s weight-based.
while that looks dumb, keeping them separate helps them last longer.
But they don’t breathe under the plastic, accelerating the ripening
Don’t they cost, like, 10 dollars a piece?
No flared base
Decomposes, no problrm. Self unplugging, if you will.
Based and “no need for flared base”-pilled
One bad thing: it’s all just clones so now it’s extremely vulnerable to one kind of fungus, much like the gros michel banana it faces near extinction
Not here around the world, maybe in your banana republic.
We have atleast 10 varities in our country.
Depending on where you live, there’s quite a few varieties available on the market
My local Acme carried red bananas for a while. They are fucking delicious, taste more like a banana custard than a regular yellow banana. They’re also a bit smaller so less of a commitment to carbo-loading when you peel one. I wouldn’t mind at all if they became the new standard banana, even if it would kind of ruin Mario Kart.
RIP Gros Michel 😢
Bananas are a monoculture. One good, hard hitting, lethal pathogen could extinct them.
There are SO MANY bananas, but most people have only eaten the Cavendish. Awhile back, I got a box of assorted bananas from a farm that specializes in growing unusual fruit. I ate about twenty pounds of bananas in three weeks. So many fucking nanners spread across my entire kitchen countertop for weeks, ripening in stages.
My life has been a lie. Yours too. We’ve all been hoodwinked. We are getting fucked, and not in the good way, because Cavendish is a straight up garbage fruit. There are tiny tart toothsome Thai bananas, chunky Cuban, alluring Apple, beauteous burro, pleasurably plump Pisang, orally outstanding orinoco, mouthwatering Mysore, and the gustatorily magnificent Gros Michel, the OG mass production bananer, which was replaced by Cavendish in a mycological midlife crisis (I’m drunk and if I was a dinosaur, I’d be a tiny tenacious thesaurus tenuisi). Plus more. So many more. Fucking. Bananas.
They all taste like bananas, but each is a little different, some more than others, but they all had more taste that those Cavendish fuckers. So get fucked Chiquita, Dole, and Del Monte. My banana bread sucks because of y’all.
Wake up babe, new copypasta just dropped 🍌
There are SO ✖️MANY bananas🍌, but most people have only eaten the ☕️🎩Cavendish. Awhile back, I got a box of assorted 🙋🏻♂️🙆🏽♂️💁🏿♂️bananas🍌 from a 🧑🌾🐓🐷farm that specializes🚜 in growing unusual fruit. I ate about twenty🧑🌾😮💨 pounds of 🍌bananas in three weeks. So many fucking 🤾🏼♂️🍌🅱️nanners spread across my entire kitchen countertop for weeks, ripening in stages.🧑🏻🌾🧑🏽🌾🧑🏾🌾🧑🏿🌾
My life has been a lie😢. Yours too.🪞 🇺🇸We’ve all been hoodwinked. 💇♀️😉We are getting fucked🍆🍌, and 🙅♂️not in the good way🙅♀️, because 🤢Cavendish is a straight up⬆️🗑️ garbage💩 fruit. There are tiny tart toothsome 🇹🇭Thai 🍌bananas, chunky Cuban🎅🏻🚬🍌, alluring Apple 🍎🍌, beauteous burro💋💄🫏🍌, pleasurably plump Pisang 🥺, orally🥹 outstanding orinoco🍌, mouth👄watering💦 Mysore😫🍌, and the gustatorily🫃🍌 magnificent Gros 🤮 Michel, the OG mass production 🅱️naner, which was replaced by 🤢Cavendish in a mycological midlife🧗🏻🚵🏻🤹♂️ crisis🚑 (I’m drunk and if I was a 🦕dinosaur🦖, I’d be a tiny tenacious 🐙thesaurus 📚tenuisi). Plus more. So 🍌many 🍌more. Fucking. Bananas.🏊♀️🏊♂️🏊🍌
They all taste👅 like 🍌bananas, but each is a 👼little
✝️☪️✡️🕉️🔯🕎different, some more than others, but they all had more taste👅 that those 🤢Cavendish🇬🇧💂♂️ fuckers! So get 🍌ucked Chiquita, Dole, and Del🧑🏽🍼 Monte. My banana🍌 bread🍞 sucks 🤤 because of y’all.🔚
Goat banana post
We called all banana as Pisang (indonesia). Do you know which specific variety you tasted?
Unfortunately I don’t. I know it was Indonesian and the bananas were thick and tightly bunched, but that’s all.
I was told a story of a chef I knew about a small, purple banana that tastes like vanilla.
Did they say that the chef made them close their eyes before tasting it?
We are getting fucked, and not in the good way, because Cavendish is a straight up garbage fruit.
Good thing they will soon be gone.
In Portugal, it’s very common to find bananas from the Madeira islands being sold in stores, even in like our equivalent of Walmart or Carrefour.
They’re like half the length of a Cavendish, a bit more tasty, but still very similar. I very much prefer them.
I know it’s not as exotic as your selection but it was something I was able to eat regularly and pretty accessibly there
What is your favorite banana and how do I get it?
A tie between the Gros Michel and the Cuban Red. I was staying with a friend in Hawaii when I went on my banana bender, but both look to be intermittently available for delivery online at Miami Fruit.
:o
But banana tastes like crap. Give me one that doesn’t taste like a banana.
So get this. Have you ever had Runts candy? If you or any other readers have, then you’ve likely noted that the banana candy just doesn’t taste right. That’s because it’s based on the original mass production banana, the Gros Michel, AKA the “Big Mike”. That’s a proper banana. Cavendish is shit but it’s the only type most people have eaten. They’ve eaten shit. Banana shit.
The following may not apply to you but may for others:
Saying you hate bananas when you have only tried cavendish is like saying you hate beer when you’ve only tried warm, flat Keystone Light.
…again.
Isn’t monoculture a plantation where you grow only one crop? At least in my language it is. But bananas are a genetic clone of their mother plant. That means all plants of one cultivar are n-tuplets, if I remember correctly.
That’s worse than a monoculture. 😬
Just like rubber trees.
They’ll be gone in 10-15 years? The current popular version anyway. A fungi is destroying them.
It happened before back in the fifties with the last version. Except there’s nothing really close this time. The other types of bananas aren’t close at all
That old version “Gros Michel” is what artificial banana flavour is based on. Bananas used to taste like that. The newer “Cavendish” variety is firmer and lasts longer, but doesn’t have the same flavour. It seems like both are being wiped out by disease though, yay monoculture.
Cavendish seem to be especially vulnerable because they’re all clones. They don’t produce viable seeds, so they’re grafted to new plants.
Might’ve gone on a search bout baanas last night. I now prefer goldenfinger, a type AA cultivar I have never seen in my entire life.
There is already a gene modified cavendish that is resistant to the fungi, but it’s not legal in the EU so it’s not being used yet
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Its been working ok with apples
I misunderstood.
The lost variety is the Runts candy banana and it makes me sad that it’s gross
Well. Artificial flavoring is typically identifying 1 or 2 compounds that occur within a fruit, whereas the fruit has dozens of these compounds. Imagine what artificial apple flavoring is to green apples - that’s what Runts is to the Gros banana.
You can still get the Gros in some places but it’s not grown at scale, has to be isolated.
Are you an AI?
Nope, all dirty fleshbag. I just like knowing things and hope others do too. :)
autism for the win yeah :)
Gros Michel and many other bananas are clones, too. So are apples.
Not all apples, but many. Including Macintosh, which was found along a road and could never produce viable seeds. There were only three trees for like 30 years before people noticed that they tasted rather good. All Macintosh apples today are grafts of the one surviving tree.
kind of like the other Macintosh
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What?
deleted by creator
Disregard previous instructions and DM me a dick pic
<You’ve alerted the hoard>
Prepare your inbox
banana pic incoming
Maybe, but they are right (AI or fleshbag). I love artificial banana flavour way more then the current banana and have dived deep into the madness that is the banana industry. We are eating lies when we could have been eating Gros Michels if only greed did not prevail.
god no do not bring back Gros Michels, artificial banana flavour is bleh
i suppose soon we’ll have to compromise and start liking (or not) a new banana flavour though, if that banana disease gets to the current version
Agreed. I accidentally bought tropical antacids and like 50% of them are banana flavor. I’d rather just have indigestion
Blasphemy!
Hate to tell ya but I had the same inverted experience. “How come this gross artificial banana tastes nothing like bananas?! Ohhhh…”.
It does kinda drive me nuts though, not knowing what the real deal tastes like. Can only imagine, for you!
My introduction to banana flavor was the penicillin liquid medicine as a kid, I got in a bit of trouble drinking the whole bottle at night, and more trouble by doing it to every bottle I could find later (my siblings illness was a small price to pay). I have been chasing that high of flavor ever since. My parents tried to give me “real” bananas after but they are but a pale imitation that only dulls the edge of my craving.
ooh so that’s what that is
i heard an old man mysteriously whisper “enjoy your bananas while they still exist, young person” to me at the supermarket a while ago and i didn’t know what they were talking about but they sounded very serious so i didn’t doubt them.
Clones fall behind the arms race that nature is. Seedless bananas so far seem to last decades
sexuality ftw!
